Baby (not mine) at the wedding shower

Yesterday while Andy took Ivan for his 4th and last 1st birthday party of the batch, I hosted a wedding shower for Kris. We had the spa brought to us. Some 13 of us were gathered at the house and three technicians came over for manicures, pedicures, facials and massages. The whole thing went off better than I expected. While I love throwing parties (despite my cleaning and control freak streak), this party gave me a bit of anxiety. With these technicians coming to perform spa services and the equipment they had to lug along, it made be a bit uneasy how would they be able to do everything and whether they were going to create a mess, scuff the house, etc....In the end, my anxiety was unfounded and everything when fine.

But another minor thing annoyed me. One of the women, a single mom by choice, brought along her 20 month-old daughter. Now, she brings the daughter, let's call her Is, to a lot of events. (Well, I'm not really qualified to define what a lot is because our social paths don't cross that often, unless it's through our mutual friend, but the few times that she's come over to our house, she's always brought the kid along). The fact that she brought her over didn't bother me so much (although if it were me, I would've said in advance that I'd bring the child along, especially to something that wasn't necessarily a child-proofed event.)

What bugged me is that I've concluded that she doesn't seem to watch over Is the way she should. Not yesterday, not at previous events. Is, just like Ivan, is an active little girl who runs around, goes up to people, etc. Someone needs to keep an eye on her. And her mom, I've noticed, seems to be quite content to let others do so while she's at the party chatting away.

Now, I understand that maybe she needs a break. Maybe she doesn't want to get a babysitter or has no one else to leave the kid with. But if she already brings the child along, then she should watch her.

At least, that what I'd like to think I've been doing every time I take Ivan someplace. Someplace usually being another kids birthday party, where kids are expected to come.

Yesterday, there was stuff all over the floor. The technicians wanted to plug something in an outlet, but then as Is was running around both the technicians and myself thought "hm, maybe not the best idea because the girl may trip over it." Not really knowing how to approach her mom and say "can you keep an eye out on your kid," I said, "J. the technicians will plug this in, so we need to make sure that Is doesn't trip over it." I assumed her reply was going to be "yeah, I'll make sure she doesn't go there." However, her reply was "Oh, yeah, that's fine."

Not a big thing, but it really bugged me. Why does she assume that others will take watch over the child. The girl is her responsibility, it's her child, not others.

And also, the fact that she brings the girl everywhere, I can't decide whether I find this to be a bit rude or not. Several other women at the shower have kids who they chose not to bring (not yesterday, not at previous events I've hosted). Granted they also have husbands with whom they could leave the child. Maybe it's different for single moms. I don't know.

But she also doesn't even ask or say in advance that she'll come with the baby; she just brings her along as if this is assumed and expected.

Maybe it's some mommy ettiquette that I've missed out on yet or have not mastered, but I'm beginning to find it a bit rude (Maybe that's too harsh of a word. Let's just say "dis-courteous')