My two weeks of play SAHM feel like a super distant memory by now (it was only a week and a half ago). The thought of returning to work was hard, but once I was back at work I fell back into the same work routine. I guess it helps that most of the people on my team are moms with small children. Most of the water cooler talk, which can draw out to being 1 hour long as passing by moms continue to aggregate, revolves around children.
So what's my verdict?
My house was cleaner, my chores done more promptly (like handwashing some dishes in the sink as they get dirty). In other words, things I late at night before going to bed, I got to do during the day.
But I didn't get any special projects done (ie personal projects that are no longer even on the back burner but have fallen off the stove).
I didn't miss work. I even didn't check my email the second week I was home. The initial email withdrawal was hard as I went cold Turkey. But then I couldn't have cared less about work.....
The pace to the day was really nice. Obviously spending all that time with Ivan was priceless.
The ideal situation would be if I could work part time, like 3-4 days a week.
The scenario would also be nice if I could make work (earn money) from some of my "fallen of the stove" projects...(write my books and scripts, photography,.....)
I guess the idea of working at my own pace for myself really appeals to me. If I weren't a big chicken at even a thought of leaving my corporate golden chains, maybe I'd consider it....
One thing I didn't get it is all the brouhaha that being a mom is hard and frazzling and that being a stay at home mom is particularly hard. Magazines always seem to give advice to SAHM for making their live less hectic. I didn't get what was so hectic about being a SAHM. Being a working mom is much more taxing.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Mr. Meh got large
Last Thursday evening my parents took Ivan to stay with them for two days. I next saw him on Saturday morning. He seemed noticably bigger and definitely heavier. It's amazing that babies can change so much. Literally overnight.
He's been a finicky eater for the last few months. He doesn't seem to be eating a lot. But since he consistanly poops between 1 and 3 times a day, something is going in and is being digested.
That said, on Saturday he ate like a champ. He had the usual cereal in the morning. For lunch, he had "grandfather soup," a ymmmy soup (sans water) my dad makes for him (cooked veal with potatoes, celery, carrots, onions. It's actually really good.) and which he often doesn't want to eat. (Even at this young age, he seems to have discovered a preference for sweets)
Then, in the afternoon, we made an impromptu trip to York for Andy's father's birthday. It had been a while that we had done any spur of the moment decisions like that one. At first I feared it would be a big hassle, but it actually turned really nice.
We went to a steak restaurant with the other set of grandparents (Andy's parents) and Andy's grandfather. Ivan ate so much that I feared he would explode.
Following some "appeasement" Cheerios, he had 1/2 slice of bread, shredded cheese from the salad, finely diced tomatoes (ate all the tomato that came on the salad), 1/2 cup of rice and a whole baked sweet potato. During the evening he then drank some 8 oz of milk.
I really thought the boy would explode. He didn't. He just pooped a lot of Sunday. (Including the sweet potato....the poop color and consistency revealed that fact).
Since this eating binge, he's been back to eating normal, i.e. being finicky and on the run (too busy to sit down and eat).
He still continues being large. He really sprouted and pudged out over the weekend.
On Friday, we are going for his 15 month appointement. I'm so curious how much he weights and whether he's moved up from being in the 25th percentile. I would thinks so. But then again I thought so before his 12 month appointement as well (he went through a noticable spur when he was about 10-11 months old). Yet, when they measured him at 1 year old, he was still in the 25th percentile.
He's been a finicky eater for the last few months. He doesn't seem to be eating a lot. But since he consistanly poops between 1 and 3 times a day, something is going in and is being digested.
That said, on Saturday he ate like a champ. He had the usual cereal in the morning. For lunch, he had "grandfather soup," a ymmmy soup (sans water) my dad makes for him (cooked veal with potatoes, celery, carrots, onions. It's actually really good.) and which he often doesn't want to eat. (Even at this young age, he seems to have discovered a preference for sweets)
Then, in the afternoon, we made an impromptu trip to York for Andy's father's birthday. It had been a while that we had done any spur of the moment decisions like that one. At first I feared it would be a big hassle, but it actually turned really nice.
We went to a steak restaurant with the other set of grandparents (Andy's parents) and Andy's grandfather. Ivan ate so much that I feared he would explode.
Following some "appeasement" Cheerios, he had 1/2 slice of bread, shredded cheese from the salad, finely diced tomatoes (ate all the tomato that came on the salad), 1/2 cup of rice and a whole baked sweet potato. During the evening he then drank some 8 oz of milk.
I really thought the boy would explode. He didn't. He just pooped a lot of Sunday. (Including the sweet potato....the poop color and consistency revealed that fact).
Since this eating binge, he's been back to eating normal, i.e. being finicky and on the run (too busy to sit down and eat).
He still continues being large. He really sprouted and pudged out over the weekend.
On Friday, we are going for his 15 month appointement. I'm so curious how much he weights and whether he's moved up from being in the 25th percentile. I would thinks so. But then again I thought so before his 12 month appointement as well (he went through a noticable spur when he was about 10-11 months old). Yet, when they measured him at 1 year old, he was still in the 25th percentile.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Crayons
Last weekend, Ivan got his first set of 64 Crayola crayons. I think I'm more excited that he is. I've had quite a fun time doodling around, trying to show him how to draw. But he's not interested yet in drawing. He's tried but it hasn't really capture his attention. However, he really likes to take the crayons out of the box and stack them back in (he's been stacking a lot of things lately, for example, taking oranges one by one out of the fruit bowl and taking them to the porch. It's a phase. It's cute).
He also immediately located the "hole" ie the sharpener on the crayola box, and has stuck each crayon into the hole. Again, it's a phase. He finds random holes in the house and sticks his fingers in, or mine, if I'm near by (like the hole in the mortar on the brick house wall on the porch).
He also likes to take a crayon, or two or three (ie he takes one so I take another so I can draw, which he promptly takes from me, so I take a third one, which he promptly takes away from me, ....)
He's tried to put the crayons in the mouth, once or twice, but it really hasn't been a problem.
Mariposa, on the other hand, managed to find a loose crayon on the floor and eat it. She ate the crayon but left the paper wrapper. That's how I found out that she ate it. It's quite deft of her to be able to do that -- eat the crayon but leave the wrapper. We were all quite impressed. The crayon color, of course, was gold. Nothing less for our baby basset girl. I haven't scooped her poop since, but I assume it's been speckled with gold.
He also immediately located the "hole" ie the sharpener on the crayola box, and has stuck each crayon into the hole. Again, it's a phase. He finds random holes in the house and sticks his fingers in, or mine, if I'm near by (like the hole in the mortar on the brick house wall on the porch).
He also likes to take a crayon, or two or three (ie he takes one so I take another so I can draw, which he promptly takes from me, so I take a third one, which he promptly takes away from me, ....)
He's tried to put the crayons in the mouth, once or twice, but it really hasn't been a problem.
Mariposa, on the other hand, managed to find a loose crayon on the floor and eat it. She ate the crayon but left the paper wrapper. That's how I found out that she ate it. It's quite deft of her to be able to do that -- eat the crayon but leave the wrapper. We were all quite impressed. The crayon color, of course, was gold. Nothing less for our baby basset girl. I haven't scooped her poop since, but I assume it's been speckled with gold.
Food
Mr. Meh has become quite a picky eater. He likes what he likes and will eat what he wants to eat, not what we want him to eat. His menue currently consists of bananas, yo baby yogurt, cereal with apples and yogurt of milk, cheese, pears, toast and Cheerios.
He refuses to eat meat, sweet potatoes, or any other finger food I tried to give him (such as peas, corn, chick peas, etc..). Yet, he will gladly try what I'm eating, especially if it's cookies, chocolate, or something sweet.... I guess I should start to randomly eat meat like that, maybe he'd come over for a bite.
Cheerios is what gets me. He's crazy about them. And they taste like crap, cardboard crap. There has to be some secret kid-addictive ingredient in them because it's insane how crazy Mr. Meh is for Cheerios. Just like all other kids. A while back, Andy and I had promised ourselves that we wouldn't become the Cheerios ziplock bag-totting parents. Little does he know that over the last few weeks, I've succumbed to it and have started to dutifully carry a ziplock bag of cheerios on my outings with me.
Cheerios have also become a bribing tool to make Mr. Meh sit in his high chair (which we adamantly refuses as of late. He's good for breakast to sit in the chair, but that's it. He won't sit in it for lunch, and especially not for dinner. He also tends to eat most in the morning, becomes more picky for lunch and basically won't eat dinner)
It used to be that he'd eat finger foods, ie anything we could put on his tray and he could eat himself. Or throw on the floor to feed mariposa (which I must say has been a good strategy on his part to befriend her). She on the other hand had profited the most from this by now symbiotic eating arrangement.
But as of Friday, he's no longer into finger foods (unless it's Cheerios or cheese). Now he wants to feed himself -- wield the spoon (create a big mess around himself) and feed himself. Over the last three days he's gotten a lot better. But this is basically my toddler nightmare -- messy eating.
So far he's eaten avocado, yogurt, cereal/yogurt and mashed sweet potatoes. He eats a bit, then pokes his food, the wields the spoon around and in the process manages to get completely messy. It's a two-person cleaning process -- one person for him and the other one for the high chair.
But it's really exicting to see him try to eat by himself. It's a major milestone, and seeing him clumsily wield the spoon with both left and right hand it really makes me realize how difficult and what a fine motor skill eating with a utensil really is.
He refuses to eat meat, sweet potatoes, or any other finger food I tried to give him (such as peas, corn, chick peas, etc..). Yet, he will gladly try what I'm eating, especially if it's cookies, chocolate, or something sweet.... I guess I should start to randomly eat meat like that, maybe he'd come over for a bite.
Cheerios is what gets me. He's crazy about them. And they taste like crap, cardboard crap. There has to be some secret kid-addictive ingredient in them because it's insane how crazy Mr. Meh is for Cheerios. Just like all other kids. A while back, Andy and I had promised ourselves that we wouldn't become the Cheerios ziplock bag-totting parents. Little does he know that over the last few weeks, I've succumbed to it and have started to dutifully carry a ziplock bag of cheerios on my outings with me.
Cheerios have also become a bribing tool to make Mr. Meh sit in his high chair (which we adamantly refuses as of late. He's good for breakast to sit in the chair, but that's it. He won't sit in it for lunch, and especially not for dinner. He also tends to eat most in the morning, becomes more picky for lunch and basically won't eat dinner)
It used to be that he'd eat finger foods, ie anything we could put on his tray and he could eat himself. Or throw on the floor to feed mariposa (which I must say has been a good strategy on his part to befriend her). She on the other hand had profited the most from this by now symbiotic eating arrangement.
But as of Friday, he's no longer into finger foods (unless it's Cheerios or cheese). Now he wants to feed himself -- wield the spoon (create a big mess around himself) and feed himself. Over the last three days he's gotten a lot better. But this is basically my toddler nightmare -- messy eating.
So far he's eaten avocado, yogurt, cereal/yogurt and mashed sweet potatoes. He eats a bit, then pokes his food, the wields the spoon around and in the process manages to get completely messy. It's a two-person cleaning process -- one person for him and the other one for the high chair.
But it's really exicting to see him try to eat by himself. It's a major milestone, and seeing him clumsily wield the spoon with both left and right hand it really makes me realize how difficult and what a fine motor skill eating with a utensil really is.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
First molar
I caught a glimpe of one of his molars coming out when he was laughing today. So far, we have six teeth. Two lower ones and 4 upper ones.
Bedtime routine
Back in the day when Mr. Meh was nursing (which was less than 3 months ago), I'd nurse him after his bath and put him to bed, still half away but ready to roll over and sleep. I could actually tell whether he would fall asleep: If he was beginning to roll over onto his side as I was laying him down in his crib, I knew he'd fall asleep. If he would lay flat on this back and start kicking out his arms and legs, I knew that I crying/screaming would ensue.
Well, at some point during the day, my dad introduced the bottle to help Mr. Meh fall asleep. Then the few nights when I wasn't around to nurse Ivan to sleep, the night bottle was introduced.
So fast forward to the last three months: Mr. Meh is so addicted and used to his bottle that he can't go to sleep without it. He fusses and cries and screams. He has become a milk addict. If he wakes up during the night, or early in the morning, he gets his bottle and falls back asleep (he's usually awake around 6 am when we give him a bottle and he continues sleeping for another hour.) And it has to be the bottle. He won't drink milk from a sippy cup. I've tried 3 different kinds and introduced them at different milk drinking times - during the day, before nap, in the middle of the night, at the 6 am milk time,.....he always promptly rejects it and continues to scream until the bottle arrives.
Since he's almost 15 months now, it's apparently due time to:
a) get rid of the bottle and replace with a sippy cup;
b) stop going to bed with milk, but drink it before hand and then brush his teeth. Otherwise, he's teeth will rot and fall out, baby advice of du jour says today.
These are obviously two separate battles to fight. Over the last week or so, I've tried fighting them simultaneously, but without any luck.
He adamantly refuses to drink milk from a sippy cup. I've decided to introduce a moratorium on the sippy cup front. So fight A has been temporarily shelved. I'm fully focused on fight B.
Fight B: Changing the bedtime routine, ie trying to revert back to the nursing time routine -- have him drink his milk while he's cuddling with me, then lay him to bed still awake with the empty bottle. And then add brushing the teeth. He likes to brush his teeth and gladly brushes them in the morning and during bath time, so that's not the issue. (I actually have to fight to take the toothbrush away.)
The problem has been that since Mr. Meh has started walking (about a month ago) he's too busy to calm down and cuddle with me. I can barely put a diaper on him, before he wants to slide off the bed and run around the upstairs, make faces at this mirror, play with his toys, take his shoes around......It's impossible to have him calm down. I try to cuddle him and read to him, but it lasts half a second, before he's off running around again. (But as soon as I put him to bed with his bottle, he calms down and eventually falls asleep).
It's also been partially my fault, because sometimes when I come home from work, I'm too tired and exhausted to play with him too long, or try to calm him and cuddle him. After 1/2 hour I give up. Laying him down in his crib with his milk is easier. Also, I thought that was a way to do it -- put him to bed awake, so he doesn't get used to falling asleep on me, which would them make him dependent on me.
But this evening, a miracle happened. I put his jammies on and gave him his milk. And instead of scurrying off the bed, he picked up one of his books (A Bright Baby Book, first words), which we've looked at over the last few months, and proceeded to drink all of his milk while flipping throught the book. I was shocked and amazed. Still no cuddling with mommy (which I miss so much), but at least he was calm.
Then I put him to bed with his milk, brought the toothbrush and quickly brushed the teeth, and laid him to sleep. He cried for about 10 minutes or so and then silence....he fell asleep.
I hope that this is the beginning of this modified bedtime routine. If I succeded in this fight B, then at least I'll stave off some cavities.
Eventually I'll tackle Fight A -- getting rid of the bottle.
Well, at some point during the day, my dad introduced the bottle to help Mr. Meh fall asleep. Then the few nights when I wasn't around to nurse Ivan to sleep, the night bottle was introduced.
So fast forward to the last three months: Mr. Meh is so addicted and used to his bottle that he can't go to sleep without it. He fusses and cries and screams. He has become a milk addict. If he wakes up during the night, or early in the morning, he gets his bottle and falls back asleep (he's usually awake around 6 am when we give him a bottle and he continues sleeping for another hour.) And it has to be the bottle. He won't drink milk from a sippy cup. I've tried 3 different kinds and introduced them at different milk drinking times - during the day, before nap, in the middle of the night, at the 6 am milk time,.....he always promptly rejects it and continues to scream until the bottle arrives.
Since he's almost 15 months now, it's apparently due time to:
a) get rid of the bottle and replace with a sippy cup;
b) stop going to bed with milk, but drink it before hand and then brush his teeth. Otherwise, he's teeth will rot and fall out, baby advice of du jour says today.
These are obviously two separate battles to fight. Over the last week or so, I've tried fighting them simultaneously, but without any luck.
He adamantly refuses to drink milk from a sippy cup. I've decided to introduce a moratorium on the sippy cup front. So fight A has been temporarily shelved. I'm fully focused on fight B.
Fight B: Changing the bedtime routine, ie trying to revert back to the nursing time routine -- have him drink his milk while he's cuddling with me, then lay him to bed still awake with the empty bottle. And then add brushing the teeth. He likes to brush his teeth and gladly brushes them in the morning and during bath time, so that's not the issue. (I actually have to fight to take the toothbrush away.)
The problem has been that since Mr. Meh has started walking (about a month ago) he's too busy to calm down and cuddle with me. I can barely put a diaper on him, before he wants to slide off the bed and run around the upstairs, make faces at this mirror, play with his toys, take his shoes around......It's impossible to have him calm down. I try to cuddle him and read to him, but it lasts half a second, before he's off running around again. (But as soon as I put him to bed with his bottle, he calms down and eventually falls asleep).
It's also been partially my fault, because sometimes when I come home from work, I'm too tired and exhausted to play with him too long, or try to calm him and cuddle him. After 1/2 hour I give up. Laying him down in his crib with his milk is easier. Also, I thought that was a way to do it -- put him to bed awake, so he doesn't get used to falling asleep on me, which would them make him dependent on me.
But this evening, a miracle happened. I put his jammies on and gave him his milk. And instead of scurrying off the bed, he picked up one of his books (A Bright Baby Book, first words), which we've looked at over the last few months, and proceeded to drink all of his milk while flipping throught the book. I was shocked and amazed. Still no cuddling with mommy (which I miss so much), but at least he was calm.
Then I put him to bed with his milk, brought the toothbrush and quickly brushed the teeth, and laid him to sleep. He cried for about 10 minutes or so and then silence....he fell asleep.
I hope that this is the beginning of this modified bedtime routine. If I succeded in this fight B, then at least I'll stave off some cavities.
Eventually I'll tackle Fight A -- getting rid of the bottle.
End of an era
...happened earlier this evening when I unsubscribed myself from Weight Watchers Online. I don't know why I'm upset about it. Maybe it the fear of gaining the weight back. Maybe it's just the fact that I don't like to let go of things, finalize things, make decisions that have no return option (in this case, it's not like I can't re-subscribe, so I don't know what the problem is).
I joined WW last summer, July 1, to be exact after I saw coworker who had a baby two weeks before I did and was skinny as a toothpick. Much skinnier that she had been for as long as I had known her (and to this day, she's kept the weight off). And at that point I still had 15lbs pregnancy to loose and well as another 10lbs of pre-pregnancy "I just got fat" weight. Well, I'll lost most of that weight. I fit into my old clothes that I couldn't fit into a few months before I got pregnant.
So in other words, I feel like I've accomplished my goal (well most of it). I should feel victorious. Last spring/summer (maybe some four months after I delivered) I remember feeling really down and hopeless -- I wasn't loosing the weight and loosing 20 lbs seemed like an impossible task. I even asked women for advice on the DC Urban Mom message board. They advised to hang in there and some actually suggested to try WWs.
On Monday, when I return to work, I'll rejoin the work gym to start working out regularly and try to get rid of the big butt, cellulite, back fat and the post-baby giggly stomach that still remain. And those are working out fixes, not so much weight loss fixes.
I must say that for $16/month, WW was amazing. I have been sounding like a walking promo for them, I've liked it so much. But it really works. It was really easy to keep track of the points and record what I ate. (In the pre-computer era, when people relied on those charts and what-nots, it would've been a nightmare). And I got to eat what I usually would it (with minor modifications) so it's really a sustainable weight loss program. And the fact that everyone has been commenting how great I look, ie the weight loss is noticable, has just been the icing on the cake.
I joined WW last summer, July 1, to be exact after I saw coworker who had a baby two weeks before I did and was skinny as a toothpick. Much skinnier that she had been for as long as I had known her (and to this day, she's kept the weight off). And at that point I still had 15lbs pregnancy to loose and well as another 10lbs of pre-pregnancy "I just got fat" weight. Well, I'll lost most of that weight. I fit into my old clothes that I couldn't fit into a few months before I got pregnant.
So in other words, I feel like I've accomplished my goal (well most of it). I should feel victorious. Last spring/summer (maybe some four months after I delivered) I remember feeling really down and hopeless -- I wasn't loosing the weight and loosing 20 lbs seemed like an impossible task. I even asked women for advice on the DC Urban Mom message board. They advised to hang in there and some actually suggested to try WWs.
On Monday, when I return to work, I'll rejoin the work gym to start working out regularly and try to get rid of the big butt, cellulite, back fat and the post-baby giggly stomach that still remain. And those are working out fixes, not so much weight loss fixes.
I must say that for $16/month, WW was amazing. I have been sounding like a walking promo for them, I've liked it so much. But it really works. It was really easy to keep track of the points and record what I ate. (In the pre-computer era, when people relied on those charts and what-nots, it would've been a nightmare). And I got to eat what I usually would it (with minor modifications) so it's really a sustainable weight loss program. And the fact that everyone has been commenting how great I look, ie the weight loss is noticable, has just been the icing on the cake.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Discovering Nature
Since Ivan has started walking, he become quite intrigued by the outdoors. As soon as he see someone open the porch door, he materializes in front of it, regardless of where he just was or what he was doing......and throws a temper tantrum if he's not allowed out.
He loves to be on the porch. And once on the porch he make a beeline for the door to go out in the back yard.
In the back yard, he likes to sit under the holly tree, and poke the little red holly berries. He's fascinated by them.
We also take him up to the flowers to smell them. He thinks that's funny.
When we're out walking in the park, he goes to dandelions and touch them. He also thinks it's funny when we blow danelion seeds. He tries to blow them himself as well.
On our porch, two other fascinating things are:
- there is a "hole" in the brick facade of our house. He likes to take my finger and stick it in the hole. (He seems to be fascinated by holes in general -- ie things to stick his fingers into -- such as the hole previous owners drilled on our hardwood floors to pass wiring through the floorboards)
- getting things out of the recycling bin (which, of course, I try to stop because it's kind of gross)
He loves to be on the porch. And once on the porch he make a beeline for the door to go out in the back yard.
In the back yard, he likes to sit under the holly tree, and poke the little red holly berries. He's fascinated by them.
We also take him up to the flowers to smell them. He thinks that's funny.
When we're out walking in the park, he goes to dandelions and touch them. He also thinks it's funny when we blow danelion seeds. He tries to blow them himself as well.
On our porch, two other fascinating things are:
- there is a "hole" in the brick facade of our house. He likes to take my finger and stick it in the hole. (He seems to be fascinated by holes in general -- ie things to stick his fingers into -- such as the hole previous owners drilled on our hardwood floors to pass wiring through the floorboards)
- getting things out of the recycling bin (which, of course, I try to stop because it's kind of gross)
The Almost Nanny Share
Back in late March, early April, I decided it was due time to start looking for an alternate part time daycare solution.
Several things conspired at once:
- Ivan started to get really social and interested in other kids, so we decided he’d benefit from being around kids
- It would be good to put him in daycare and set him up for when the second baby arrives
- It would give my dad some free time for himself
- I would not have to with my parents all the time, every day and endure various daily nagging minutia, most of which is not related to Ivan’s care
Just as I started thinking these thoughts, we came across a flier in the neighborhood. A family was looking to share their nanny. The family they had shared the nanny with had gotten a spot in a daycare of their chose. So the nanny was free.
I jumped at the opportunity and immediately called the family over that weekend. On Monday morning, I went to check out the situation – the family, the child, the nanny.
The location was perfect – right on my path to the metro (the idea was I would drop off Mr. Meh on the way to work. )
The whole scenario seemed to be ideal and easily attainable. Like the whole thing just perfectly fell into my lap.
The family was nice. They might have been a bit older than us, or not. But in any case they seemed very put together. In a nicely renovated house (the kitchen in their circa 1940s old cape cod, was 21st century updated – stainless steel appliances, marble countertops, new cabinets). Tidy and decorated. Not like our house, with good bones, but definitely decades of tear and fray that we have been too lazy and unable to afford to renovate. With nice furniture. It looked as if Pottery Barn had just finished a catalogue shoot in there. The woman, the mom, was nice. Very pleasant, very put together. Gave off a Bethesda, pseudo-waspy, all American vibe.
Their toddler daughter was the perfect shade of a blond, adorable poster girl for Pottery Barn Kids.
I was friendly and pleasant. I thought I looked good – was on my way to work. But still I felt a bit shabby compared to them. A bit inferior. As if we were just not their class. Don’t know whether the feeling was subjective or objective.
The woman said there was another family with two kids interested in the share. If they worked out , they’d take them over me since I was just interested in having Ivan share the nanny 2 days a week. She said she’d call back to let me know if a week or so. I never heard from her again.
The whole scenario seemed too perfect and easy and ultimately too good to be true. Of course, it didn't work out.
But now, I was on a mission. I checked out DC urban moms, a listserve for the local mom community. There was a topic: nanny issues….etc. Who knew it would be so easy. There were several families in the neighborhood looking to share their nanny. I was surprised there would be so much supply and demand. I contacted three numbers. Never heard back from one. The second one’s nanny worked 9-4, too late to start and too early to pick him up, and besides the family was in the neighborood behind us (i.e. further away from downtown), which meant they weren’t on my metro route, nor was their house walkable from ours. Scratch that option.
The third option sounded promising. Equally promising as the first family I visited. An 18 month-old boy. The house was on a slight detour to the metro. The nanny was from Togo. A francophone nanny. I liked that idea. Ivan getting his first French exposure. The start of him being trilingual. An opportunity for me to practice French. I even started practicing just preparing to go and meet the family and the nanny.
I got quite excited. This will work out, I thought. It will just be perfect. Well, it wasn’t and I partially sabotaged it.
What when wrong:
I got so enamored by the idea that the reality brought me down a bit. The mom was nice. My age. Looked like someone I could be friends with (and I’m always on a perennial friend lookout). The house was old and not really that well renovated. It looked a bit shabby and unkept. Actually a bit too unkept for my taste. The dining room was messy—papers everywhere. I guess it doubled as a office. Stuff on the table. The kitchen sink and counter had stuff everywhere (and my first rule of housekeeping is to keep the kitchen meticulously clean. It’s a bit of an obsession). The carpet needed a vacuuming. I actually started thinking, “can’t they vacuum the carpet. How often do they vacuum the carpet”. They had a cat so there was cat hair. Which was fine. Our house is full of dog hair. But I try to vacuum. (Do others think my house is that shabby and unkept?, I secretly wondered. My mom did notice that last time Rita and Sanjoy visited that they wouldn’t sit on the porch sofa (full of MP hair. We got used to it by now) And Rita kept brushing off Maya everything she’d fall down. Was it MP hair??)
Also, the boy was sick. He had snot coming out of his nose. Which is fine. But there was a huge bugger under his nose . “Can someone body wipe the bugger of the kid’s nose?” I was screaming to myself. It was really distracting.
The nanny seemed cheerful and nice in her 30s.
Despite my reservations about the house, I thought we’d give it a try. I liked the woman and the nanny, and thought I should keep my OCD in check and keep my standards low and not to judge others housekeeping style.
So the following day I brought Andy and Ivan to check out the situation. Ivan went straight to play with the boy, grabbing his toys. Reaching for a sippy cup on a side table. Grabbing the sippy cup, putting it in his mouth. (Of course, he came down with a cold a few days later.)
Andy liked the situation.
But I got red flags. I wasn’t clear on the story, but the nanny also had a toddler, who was back in Togo being cared for by her mother. Would this fact, that she had a child the same age, and the ache for that child make her a better nanny or a spiteful nanny (the ache for the child)? I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t figure out how to pry more information. With time, I thought.
Then there was the issue of money. They wanted $13 per hour. For a nanny share it seemed pricey. I chickened out a bit, knowing that we can’t afford that (literally don’t have that money) until we get raises or I land the ever-expecting promotion (still waiting) or a new job, at which time the extra cash I calculated I’d get per month, I would just fork over to the nanny.
So I stalled. Told the woman I’d get back to her in a day or two, but stretched it to a week. Then I explained the money issue. We decided that perhaps we should do it one day a week to start with for $11 per hour. She was going to check with the nanny if that was suitable.
But there was still the issue of what the nanny would do the remainder of the days. (This woman had the nanny for two days. I wanted to share those two days, which left the nanny needing to find a gig the other three days)
In the end it didn’t work out. The woman called saying the nanny found a full time job. Which is for the best.
I still haven't gotten a promotion/new job, which is really stifling our extra expenditure plans.
I got chicken feet because I didn’t want to let even be taken care of by someone else. I also decided that I’d rather put him in day care (the question now is family-based or institutional?) so he can interact with other kids . There is no part time option, but I could always just chose not to send him t daycare everyday. Price-wise it still comes out cheaper than a nanny share.
For now I stalled the process. I need to restart it again soon. I want to send Ivan to daycare in the fall. And I’m apparently already too late. There lists, waitlists and deposits. I should’ve put myself on one of the lists the second I thought about getting pregnant.
But I still have that woman’s phone number. In case I want to call her up for a playdate. I still think she’d be someone I’d like to befriend. Maybe I can call her to arrange a playdate in the near future (how suburban of me).
Several things conspired at once:
- Ivan started to get really social and interested in other kids, so we decided he’d benefit from being around kids
- It would be good to put him in daycare and set him up for when the second baby arrives
- It would give my dad some free time for himself
- I would not have to with my parents all the time, every day and endure various daily nagging minutia, most of which is not related to Ivan’s care
Just as I started thinking these thoughts, we came across a flier in the neighborhood. A family was looking to share their nanny. The family they had shared the nanny with had gotten a spot in a daycare of their chose. So the nanny was free.
I jumped at the opportunity and immediately called the family over that weekend. On Monday morning, I went to check out the situation – the family, the child, the nanny.
The location was perfect – right on my path to the metro (the idea was I would drop off Mr. Meh on the way to work. )
The whole scenario seemed to be ideal and easily attainable. Like the whole thing just perfectly fell into my lap.
The family was nice. They might have been a bit older than us, or not. But in any case they seemed very put together. In a nicely renovated house (the kitchen in their circa 1940s old cape cod, was 21st century updated – stainless steel appliances, marble countertops, new cabinets). Tidy and decorated. Not like our house, with good bones, but definitely decades of tear and fray that we have been too lazy and unable to afford to renovate. With nice furniture. It looked as if Pottery Barn had just finished a catalogue shoot in there. The woman, the mom, was nice. Very pleasant, very put together. Gave off a Bethesda, pseudo-waspy, all American vibe.
Their toddler daughter was the perfect shade of a blond, adorable poster girl for Pottery Barn Kids.
I was friendly and pleasant. I thought I looked good – was on my way to work. But still I felt a bit shabby compared to them. A bit inferior. As if we were just not their class. Don’t know whether the feeling was subjective or objective.
The woman said there was another family with two kids interested in the share. If they worked out , they’d take them over me since I was just interested in having Ivan share the nanny 2 days a week. She said she’d call back to let me know if a week or so. I never heard from her again.
The whole scenario seemed too perfect and easy and ultimately too good to be true. Of course, it didn't work out.
But now, I was on a mission. I checked out DC urban moms, a listserve for the local mom community. There was a topic: nanny issues….etc. Who knew it would be so easy. There were several families in the neighborhood looking to share their nanny. I was surprised there would be so much supply and demand. I contacted three numbers. Never heard back from one. The second one’s nanny worked 9-4, too late to start and too early to pick him up, and besides the family was in the neighborood behind us (i.e. further away from downtown), which meant they weren’t on my metro route, nor was their house walkable from ours. Scratch that option.
The third option sounded promising. Equally promising as the first family I visited. An 18 month-old boy. The house was on a slight detour to the metro. The nanny was from Togo. A francophone nanny. I liked that idea. Ivan getting his first French exposure. The start of him being trilingual. An opportunity for me to practice French. I even started practicing just preparing to go and meet the family and the nanny.
I got quite excited. This will work out, I thought. It will just be perfect. Well, it wasn’t and I partially sabotaged it.
What when wrong:
I got so enamored by the idea that the reality brought me down a bit. The mom was nice. My age. Looked like someone I could be friends with (and I’m always on a perennial friend lookout). The house was old and not really that well renovated. It looked a bit shabby and unkept. Actually a bit too unkept for my taste. The dining room was messy—papers everywhere. I guess it doubled as a office. Stuff on the table. The kitchen sink and counter had stuff everywhere (and my first rule of housekeeping is to keep the kitchen meticulously clean. It’s a bit of an obsession). The carpet needed a vacuuming. I actually started thinking, “can’t they vacuum the carpet. How often do they vacuum the carpet”. They had a cat so there was cat hair. Which was fine. Our house is full of dog hair. But I try to vacuum. (Do others think my house is that shabby and unkept?, I secretly wondered. My mom did notice that last time Rita and Sanjoy visited that they wouldn’t sit on the porch sofa (full of MP hair. We got used to it by now) And Rita kept brushing off Maya everything she’d fall down. Was it MP hair??)
Also, the boy was sick. He had snot coming out of his nose. Which is fine. But there was a huge bugger under his nose . “Can someone body wipe the bugger of the kid’s nose?” I was screaming to myself. It was really distracting.
The nanny seemed cheerful and nice in her 30s.
Despite my reservations about the house, I thought we’d give it a try. I liked the woman and the nanny, and thought I should keep my OCD in check and keep my standards low and not to judge others housekeeping style.
So the following day I brought Andy and Ivan to check out the situation. Ivan went straight to play with the boy, grabbing his toys. Reaching for a sippy cup on a side table. Grabbing the sippy cup, putting it in his mouth. (Of course, he came down with a cold a few days later.)
Andy liked the situation.
But I got red flags. I wasn’t clear on the story, but the nanny also had a toddler, who was back in Togo being cared for by her mother. Would this fact, that she had a child the same age, and the ache for that child make her a better nanny or a spiteful nanny (the ache for the child)? I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t figure out how to pry more information. With time, I thought.
Then there was the issue of money. They wanted $13 per hour. For a nanny share it seemed pricey. I chickened out a bit, knowing that we can’t afford that (literally don’t have that money) until we get raises or I land the ever-expecting promotion (still waiting) or a new job, at which time the extra cash I calculated I’d get per month, I would just fork over to the nanny.
So I stalled. Told the woman I’d get back to her in a day or two, but stretched it to a week. Then I explained the money issue. We decided that perhaps we should do it one day a week to start with for $11 per hour. She was going to check with the nanny if that was suitable.
But there was still the issue of what the nanny would do the remainder of the days. (This woman had the nanny for two days. I wanted to share those two days, which left the nanny needing to find a gig the other three days)
In the end it didn’t work out. The woman called saying the nanny found a full time job. Which is for the best.
I still haven't gotten a promotion/new job, which is really stifling our extra expenditure plans.
I got chicken feet because I didn’t want to let even be taken care of by someone else. I also decided that I’d rather put him in day care (the question now is family-based or institutional?) so he can interact with other kids . There is no part time option, but I could always just chose not to send him t daycare everyday. Price-wise it still comes out cheaper than a nanny share.
For now I stalled the process. I need to restart it again soon. I want to send Ivan to daycare in the fall. And I’m apparently already too late. There lists, waitlists and deposits. I should’ve put myself on one of the lists the second I thought about getting pregnant.
But I still have that woman’s phone number. In case I want to call her up for a playdate. I still think she’d be someone I’d like to befriend. Maybe I can call her to arrange a playdate in the near future (how suburban of me).
Friday, April 25, 2008
Vocabulary
In addition to the countless intonations of mama, I think Mr. Meh has added a few new words to his extensive vocabulary of noises, mouth farts and raspberries and the likes.
Dadda -- refers to daddy
Ouhouh -- we think it refers to dogs. He used to say "baba," which Andy thought referred to Mariposa (ie dog) but I haven't heard him use it lately
Mloh -- it would appear that "mloh" -- which has a distinct l and o sound, quite different from mama -- refers to milk. I assume that letters in milk, or mlijeko in Croatian, must be hard to pronounce. I also noticed him blurt out "mloh" as he was making a bee line for an empty milk bottle.
Ne -- this is a new word, I discerned yesterday. Ne is no in Croatian. Ne, is obvioulsy used quite a lot when talking to Mr. Meh because 2/3 of the things he tries to touch and do starts with "ne, don't to that..." I'm surprised he didn't pick up this one earlier.
I also know he understands "pupak," which is belly button in Croatian. He knows eyes, ears, mouth and teeth in both English and Croatian. He also knows "knock, knock"
There is also "dya, dya, dya, dya,..." which I have no clue what it means.
And the rest of the vocabulary is all mama.
At first I was in heaven that he learned to say mama first. (Some babies say dada, or something else first.) But then when I realized that mama means everything from cell phones and phones to random objects around the house to me it made me concerned, especially the phone connection. Since I spend so much time at work and call him several times a day (which he never wants to babble back to me but just press buttons on the phone) does he really associate me with the phone? Could I be replaced by a phone? I know that it's a silly thought but a few months back when I'd get down for spending so much time at work and sometimes not making it home in time to see him off to bed, I did wonder.....
Dadda -- refers to daddy
Ouhouh -- we think it refers to dogs. He used to say "baba," which Andy thought referred to Mariposa (ie dog) but I haven't heard him use it lately
Mloh -- it would appear that "mloh" -- which has a distinct l and o sound, quite different from mama -- refers to milk. I assume that letters in milk, or mlijeko in Croatian, must be hard to pronounce. I also noticed him blurt out "mloh" as he was making a bee line for an empty milk bottle.
Ne -- this is a new word, I discerned yesterday. Ne is no in Croatian. Ne, is obvioulsy used quite a lot when talking to Mr. Meh because 2/3 of the things he tries to touch and do starts with "ne, don't to that..." I'm surprised he didn't pick up this one earlier.
I also know he understands "pupak," which is belly button in Croatian. He knows eyes, ears, mouth and teeth in both English and Croatian. He also knows "knock, knock"
There is also "dya, dya, dya, dya,..." which I have no clue what it means.
And the rest of the vocabulary is all mama.
At first I was in heaven that he learned to say mama first. (Some babies say dada, or something else first.) But then when I realized that mama means everything from cell phones and phones to random objects around the house to me it made me concerned, especially the phone connection. Since I spend so much time at work and call him several times a day (which he never wants to babble back to me but just press buttons on the phone) does he really associate me with the phone? Could I be replaced by a phone? I know that it's a silly thought but a few months back when I'd get down for spending so much time at work and sometimes not making it home in time to see him off to bed, I did wonder.....
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Playing SAHM (housewife) - pretend play
I've been on a two-week vacation since Monday. All alone at home with Mr. Meh and MP. It's been wonderful. Like maternity leave all over again, except the weather is nicer and I'm busy in a different way. Mr. Meh is fun and very interactive now unlike last year when he was a cuddly little newborn sack who wanted me to hold him/carry him all day long. (Actually he still wants to be carried a lot. Except that now he's much heavier and demands to be picked up. Then he extends his arm infront of him as if to command "walk me this way so I can see....")
It feel like a very idyllic, housewife-y situation. The house is clean and I keep it tidy during the day. I did the laundry, cleaned the porch, etc...all sorts of things I usually do at night. I even cooked dinner. (Yeah for me. Cooking dinner is usually Andy's domain. I'm a more willing and much more efficient kitchen cleaner. And he gets a bigger kick out of cooking and his dinners are usually more imaginative than mine, and more importantly he gets home before I do).
There is a good pace to the day (well, all four of them so far) and it's a nice break from work. (Although I've been failing miserably this week not to check work email at night and respond to some key ones. I've also been doing a different work task each night so far -- ie finishing up work that I didn't get to wrap up last week. But I'm done now, so I should really stop. Go through webmail withdrawal. Be out of the work loop. Sounds easy, but it's harder to implement. And it's just so darn easy to log onto webmail when I'm already at a computer)
The idyllic version: In the morning we all get up around 7 after a good night sleep and see daddy off to work (we also stay in the bathroom with daddy while he takes a shower, brushes his teeth and shaves -- we brush our teeth at the same time). Then we eat breakfast (oatmeal with apples and milk, a piece of fruit and some bread that Mama eats). Then we play until 10 or so when we go down for a nap. After the nap, around noon or so, we eat again and then go out to stroll around to the park, playground and the store. We come back around 3 and taken a nap until after 4. Then we eat a bit again and toot around on the porch and the yard until 5:30 when Daddy returns. He plays with us, feeds us and bathe us around 6:30. Then mama takes over after the bath to put us down for the night.
This idyllic version has really been working out only today (and it's only 4 pm which means the day is still in progress and can go awry).
What's happened each day so far:
Monday: it rained all day. We were cooped in the house. Ivan wanted to be carried around all day. He didn't really nap well but was cranky all day. I couldn't wait for Andy to come home.
Tuesday, Wednesday: Much better, especially Wednesday.
On Tuesday we went for a stroll down Sligo Creek. We swung on the swings a bit and then continued walking on the trail towards Colesville Road. I brought food for him, thinking I'd try my luck at feeding him lunch while out (he's gotten too finnicky and busy to eat lately, which is a bit unnerving, but that's a different story). My daydreams of a little impromptu picknick were swiftly grounded when the eating derailed into a messy afair. Again this is a different story, which I should write up under the title "Messy and Finnicky Toddler Eating, How to Cope if You're Squemish and Not Tolerant of Messy Eating." When we got home from the stroll and took the afternoon nap, we woke up crying and cranky. The next couple of hours (between 3 - 5) were a bit trying. He wanted me to carry him non stop so he can see the sights, which is a problem since my upper body strength is really non existent, so I put on some Andes music and tried to dance him around. It worked more or less. Then Daddy came home and he took over until it was bed time.
Wednesday was a variation on the theme, except I took him to downtown Silver Spring to the stores. He was excellent at the shoe store, less interested in being dragged to Ann Taylor Loft. He, like all little kids, was mesmerized by the fountain. He stared and watched it and walked around it for quite some time. (I remember two years ago and last year, Andy and I would always comment how intrigued and hyptonized kids are by the fountain.
And today was the best. We went to the story time at the library (finally) and Whole Foods and the playground where we ate our lunch (yogurt and banana) and then came home and slept....
It feel like a very idyllic, housewife-y situation. The house is clean and I keep it tidy during the day. I did the laundry, cleaned the porch, etc...all sorts of things I usually do at night. I even cooked dinner. (Yeah for me. Cooking dinner is usually Andy's domain. I'm a more willing and much more efficient kitchen cleaner. And he gets a bigger kick out of cooking and his dinners are usually more imaginative than mine, and more importantly he gets home before I do).
There is a good pace to the day (well, all four of them so far) and it's a nice break from work. (Although I've been failing miserably this week not to check work email at night and respond to some key ones. I've also been doing a different work task each night so far -- ie finishing up work that I didn't get to wrap up last week. But I'm done now, so I should really stop. Go through webmail withdrawal. Be out of the work loop. Sounds easy, but it's harder to implement. And it's just so darn easy to log onto webmail when I'm already at a computer)
The idyllic version: In the morning we all get up around 7 after a good night sleep and see daddy off to work (we also stay in the bathroom with daddy while he takes a shower, brushes his teeth and shaves -- we brush our teeth at the same time). Then we eat breakfast (oatmeal with apples and milk, a piece of fruit and some bread that Mama eats). Then we play until 10 or so when we go down for a nap. After the nap, around noon or so, we eat again and then go out to stroll around to the park, playground and the store. We come back around 3 and taken a nap until after 4. Then we eat a bit again and toot around on the porch and the yard until 5:30 when Daddy returns. He plays with us, feeds us and bathe us around 6:30. Then mama takes over after the bath to put us down for the night.
This idyllic version has really been working out only today (and it's only 4 pm which means the day is still in progress and can go awry).
What's happened each day so far:
Monday: it rained all day. We were cooped in the house. Ivan wanted to be carried around all day. He didn't really nap well but was cranky all day. I couldn't wait for Andy to come home.
Tuesday, Wednesday: Much better, especially Wednesday.
On Tuesday we went for a stroll down Sligo Creek. We swung on the swings a bit and then continued walking on the trail towards Colesville Road. I brought food for him, thinking I'd try my luck at feeding him lunch while out (he's gotten too finnicky and busy to eat lately, which is a bit unnerving, but that's a different story). My daydreams of a little impromptu picknick were swiftly grounded when the eating derailed into a messy afair. Again this is a different story, which I should write up under the title "Messy and Finnicky Toddler Eating, How to Cope if You're Squemish and Not Tolerant of Messy Eating." When we got home from the stroll and took the afternoon nap, we woke up crying and cranky. The next couple of hours (between 3 - 5) were a bit trying. He wanted me to carry him non stop so he can see the sights, which is a problem since my upper body strength is really non existent, so I put on some Andes music and tried to dance him around. It worked more or less. Then Daddy came home and he took over until it was bed time.
Wednesday was a variation on the theme, except I took him to downtown Silver Spring to the stores. He was excellent at the shoe store, less interested in being dragged to Ann Taylor Loft. He, like all little kids, was mesmerized by the fountain. He stared and watched it and walked around it for quite some time. (I remember two years ago and last year, Andy and I would always comment how intrigued and hyptonized kids are by the fountain.
And today was the best. We went to the story time at the library (finally) and Whole Foods and the playground where we ate our lunch (yogurt and banana) and then came home and slept....
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Toddlerhood
So much progress in this last month that I haven't written about. Mr. Meh is definitely no longer a baby, but a toddler. A toddler too busy to have his diapers put on, too busy to eat, too busy to sit with me for a second for a cuddle.
It all started about 2-3 weeks ago now when he started to walk -- ie let go of the furniture. Instead, he found support in a broom, which he used as a staff for about a week, and still likes to swing around if he sees the broom laying around. (Of course, Mariposa gets frightened. She thinks he's chasing her around with the broom. And the broom is only a few notches lower than the obnoxious yet ubitiqous vaccum cleaner).
I barely have time to put diapers on him after bathing him. He wants to roll over and slide off the bed.....For any diaper change, I still use the window trick -- plop him up against the window in the spare bedroom. While he's oohing and aahing and dropping stuff under the bed (which he's stopped doing as much as he did before. I guess the novelty has worn off), I take off diapers, clean him and put a new pair on. And then he's on the go. Slides off the bed and make a bee line for the mirror in his bedroom to raise his hand and giggle and say "ahhhh" to himself. It's funny.
The way he walks, toddling left and right, he's just like the diapers commercials. So cute.
While he's walking, he prefers to have something in his hands -- something in each hand. Lately it's been his shoes. He loves those shoes. He tries to hug them and kiss them (just like his teddy bears), which of course is gross because the shoes are shoes. Anyway, he put a shoe in each hand, and if a bottle of milk is handy then he grips the bottle with his teeth and off he goes.....walking toward the mirror, or toward our bedroom.
He also like to hold onto my finger while walking. I, of course, find that so endearing.....It's just like I've been dreaming it. He and I walking together, dawdling slowly, him holding my finger. (Ah what type of romance. Nothing anyone things about until the baby arrives, and now it's the best love affair of my life. Butterflies in my stomach and all. Who could've known.)
He's so busy now that as soon as I get him out of the crib in the morning, he's on the go........walking, walking someplace. He's too busy to eat. It's too much hassle putting him in the high chair, it's much easier to follow him around with a spoon and bits of food and crossing my fingers that he'll eat something.
As walking arrived, so has the exertion of will. He has a will and he's determined to get his way -- get to do what he's aiming to do. If not his way, then the temper tantrum way. It caught us by surprise. The temper tantrums started literaly overnight. We looked at it each and tought to ourselves this past weekend 'who is this child." The previous weekend I worked all weekend so I didn't see him a lot and I worked long hours the preceding two weeks so some days I didn't even see him before he went to bed for the night. (Bad mommy). But during that two week span, he changed from a baby to the toddler.
I'm on vacation this week and next week. I'm so looking foward to it, spending all my time with Mr. Meh.
It all started about 2-3 weeks ago now when he started to walk -- ie let go of the furniture. Instead, he found support in a broom, which he used as a staff for about a week, and still likes to swing around if he sees the broom laying around. (Of course, Mariposa gets frightened. She thinks he's chasing her around with the broom. And the broom is only a few notches lower than the obnoxious yet ubitiqous vaccum cleaner).
I barely have time to put diapers on him after bathing him. He wants to roll over and slide off the bed.....For any diaper change, I still use the window trick -- plop him up against the window in the spare bedroom. While he's oohing and aahing and dropping stuff under the bed (which he's stopped doing as much as he did before. I guess the novelty has worn off), I take off diapers, clean him and put a new pair on. And then he's on the go. Slides off the bed and make a bee line for the mirror in his bedroom to raise his hand and giggle and say "ahhhh" to himself. It's funny.
The way he walks, toddling left and right, he's just like the diapers commercials. So cute.
While he's walking, he prefers to have something in his hands -- something in each hand. Lately it's been his shoes. He loves those shoes. He tries to hug them and kiss them (just like his teddy bears), which of course is gross because the shoes are shoes. Anyway, he put a shoe in each hand, and if a bottle of milk is handy then he grips the bottle with his teeth and off he goes.....walking toward the mirror, or toward our bedroom.
He also like to hold onto my finger while walking. I, of course, find that so endearing.....It's just like I've been dreaming it. He and I walking together, dawdling slowly, him holding my finger. (Ah what type of romance. Nothing anyone things about until the baby arrives, and now it's the best love affair of my life. Butterflies in my stomach and all. Who could've known.)
He's so busy now that as soon as I get him out of the crib in the morning, he's on the go........walking, walking someplace. He's too busy to eat. It's too much hassle putting him in the high chair, it's much easier to follow him around with a spoon and bits of food and crossing my fingers that he'll eat something.
As walking arrived, so has the exertion of will. He has a will and he's determined to get his way -- get to do what he's aiming to do. If not his way, then the temper tantrum way. It caught us by surprise. The temper tantrums started literaly overnight. We looked at it each and tought to ourselves this past weekend 'who is this child." The previous weekend I worked all weekend so I didn't see him a lot and I worked long hours the preceding two weeks so some days I didn't even see him before he went to bed for the night. (Bad mommy). But during that two week span, he changed from a baby to the toddler.
I'm on vacation this week and next week. I'm so looking foward to it, spending all my time with Mr. Meh.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
529 Plans, Other Tax and Financial Issues
There is so much I must recount that has happened over the last few weeks. I can't keep up with the boy. And he's a boy now, no longer a baby. But first let's start with the latest issue.
We finally looked into 529 plans. Andy actually printed the info and brought it home. I had been mentioning it over the last year, but we hadn't done anything until now. Why? Mainly because we've been slow and frankly because it's not like we're awash in extra cash we can put away. (And there are so many competing financial musts--like pay off credit card, jack up 401s and IRAs, pay down the bizzillion mortgages, etc...and now starts up college plans for Ivan.) We haven't even gotten him into daycare, which not only costs money to send the kid to, but it also costs money to be put on waiting lists. It's worse than college applications.
Anyway, Maryland has two plans -- the prepaid one, where you pay tomorrow's college tuition at today's rate but it's only for MD public schools, if I get it correctly (there is a way to use it for other schools as well, but it description was rather convoluted) and the investnment one, which basically functions like an IRA.
So which one is better? Media and financial experts seem to favor the investment one. This option gets more complicated because since each state runs its own plan, you can invest in any state's plan regardless where you live. Of course, if you invest in another state's plan, you won't profit from your state's tax breaks. I guess there are financial pros and cons to each state's plan, but who has time to figure that out, other than professional financial experts who deal in the matter.
But our tax accountant threw us (I guess, me) off course, when he suggested that the prepaid one is better. That's the one he had for his kids (although he probably has way more money than we do). So now I'm torn.....which one to pick.
The prepaid one seems more expensive, meaning that in order to paid in full the entire amount of today's college cost, the monthly (or yearly, or whatever) payments seem to steep for our current expenses. If I read the info correctly we'd have to pay over $300 monthly for 191 months (ie 17 years) to pay down today's 4-year college MD tuition. It's probably a good deal, but I really don't see how with our current finances we can swing that (especially once we send Ivan to some sort of daycare, but that's a different discussion altogether)
I'm thinking of sending my friends (with kids) an email to see whether they've started these plans and which one they chose. Unfortunately, I'm quite sure they'll all say that they have no clue but to ask their husbands. (I can do that, but it will just annoy me that they won't know and that I'm the one who's taking care of it at this end, because it's in my personality to do so). And most of the people to whom I'd pose this question are currently financially much better off than we are and I really don't want to be reminded of that.
We finally looked into 529 plans. Andy actually printed the info and brought it home. I had been mentioning it over the last year, but we hadn't done anything until now. Why? Mainly because we've been slow and frankly because it's not like we're awash in extra cash we can put away. (And there are so many competing financial musts--like pay off credit card, jack up 401s and IRAs, pay down the bizzillion mortgages, etc...and now starts up college plans for Ivan.) We haven't even gotten him into daycare, which not only costs money to send the kid to, but it also costs money to be put on waiting lists. It's worse than college applications.
Anyway, Maryland has two plans -- the prepaid one, where you pay tomorrow's college tuition at today's rate but it's only for MD public schools, if I get it correctly (there is a way to use it for other schools as well, but it description was rather convoluted) and the investnment one, which basically functions like an IRA.
So which one is better? Media and financial experts seem to favor the investment one. This option gets more complicated because since each state runs its own plan, you can invest in any state's plan regardless where you live. Of course, if you invest in another state's plan, you won't profit from your state's tax breaks. I guess there are financial pros and cons to each state's plan, but who has time to figure that out, other than professional financial experts who deal in the matter.
But our tax accountant threw us (I guess, me) off course, when he suggested that the prepaid one is better. That's the one he had for his kids (although he probably has way more money than we do). So now I'm torn.....which one to pick.
The prepaid one seems more expensive, meaning that in order to paid in full the entire amount of today's college cost, the monthly (or yearly, or whatever) payments seem to steep for our current expenses. If I read the info correctly we'd have to pay over $300 monthly for 191 months (ie 17 years) to pay down today's 4-year college MD tuition. It's probably a good deal, but I really don't see how with our current finances we can swing that (especially once we send Ivan to some sort of daycare, but that's a different discussion altogether)
I'm thinking of sending my friends (with kids) an email to see whether they've started these plans and which one they chose. Unfortunately, I'm quite sure they'll all say that they have no clue but to ask their husbands. (I can do that, but it will just annoy me that they won't know and that I'm the one who's taking care of it at this end, because it's in my personality to do so). And most of the people to whom I'd pose this question are currently financially much better off than we are and I really don't want to be reminded of that.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
being extra sensitive and emotional ...about baby related things..
Since Ivan was born, I've noticed that I'm extra sensitive and emotional about all things baby. Meaning every time I hear on the news that something horrible happened to a child or think about the suffering babies go through in the world, it breaks my heart. Of course, these types of horrific news are meant to do just that, but it's been worse this past year.
I've asked some other mommy friends from work, even some with older children. They all say the same. Since they've become mothers, they've become more sensitive to baby-related tragedies.
Does it ever end?
I guess it doesn't. Once a mom always a mom. But it makes me wonder, if all moms around the world feel like this, how can there be so much cruelty in the world?
I've asked some other mommy friends from work, even some with older children. They all say the same. Since they've become mothers, they've become more sensitive to baby-related tragedies.
Does it ever end?
I guess it doesn't. Once a mom always a mom. But it makes me wonder, if all moms around the world feel like this, how can there be so much cruelty in the world?
up the stairs--new game
up the stairs is the new game.
but wires still rule.
as do the phones.
and the vacuum cleaner is still the best toy ever (much to Mariposa's dismay).
he's been kissing his animals.
and giving us headbuts and kisses.
but wires still rule.
as do the phones.
and the vacuum cleaner is still the best toy ever (much to Mariposa's dismay).
he's been kissing his animals.
and giving us headbuts and kisses.
mommy friend
I made my first Mommy friend in the neighborhood. I was walking Mariposa and we passed this woman and her stroller. I've been seeing her and the stroller around for as long as I've been taking Ivan out. He baby seemed the same age. So I finally stopped her and struck up a conversation. Turns out her daughter is a month younger than Ivan. They live up the street from us. She's Russian and works at the IMF. It was all too funny.
So Mariposa and I talked to them for over 1 hour. We agreed to do a play date.
I'm excited. It will be Mr. Meh's first playdate and my first Mommy friend.
While on one hand I've been so busy with work and life (ie Ivan, Andy and Mariposa) that I've barely been wanting to stay in touch with existing friends (in other words, I've really stopped caring for any pretense of social life for now. And I do sometimes fear that one day I'll find myself friendless because I've let all my friendships in the city wither away, but right now I'm content with my life as is. In other words, I've turned into a person I never understood -- the one who doesn't keep in touch)....
....I have been feeling that I need to become a bit more proactive in finding mommy friends in the neighborhoods. Why? Because everyone seems to have mommy friends and all kids eventually end up going to playdates....
I haven't really been missing this lack of mommy friends and playdates but I feel that unless I start making some new social contacts and circles that I'll start to feel its absence sooner or later.
So Mariposa and I talked to them for over 1 hour. We agreed to do a play date.
I'm excited. It will be Mr. Meh's first playdate and my first Mommy friend.
While on one hand I've been so busy with work and life (ie Ivan, Andy and Mariposa) that I've barely been wanting to stay in touch with existing friends (in other words, I've really stopped caring for any pretense of social life for now. And I do sometimes fear that one day I'll find myself friendless because I've let all my friendships in the city wither away, but right now I'm content with my life as is. In other words, I've turned into a person I never understood -- the one who doesn't keep in touch)....
....I have been feeling that I need to become a bit more proactive in finding mommy friends in the neighborhoods. Why? Because everyone seems to have mommy friends and all kids eventually end up going to playdates....
I haven't really been missing this lack of mommy friends and playdates but I feel that unless I start making some new social contacts and circles that I'll start to feel its absence sooner or later.
New food choices
-prefers chunky to baby food
-prefers to be fed with a fork (an adult fork)
-prefers to eat what he seems me eat
-last week he got spinach and chicken, our leftover, ahd he loved it. ahtought i feared that spinach would be too salty.
-he's been eating sandwiches for the last few weeks (ie pieces of bread and cheese
-prefers to be fed with a fork (an adult fork)
-prefers to eat what he seems me eat
-last week he got spinach and chicken, our leftover, ahd he loved it. ahtought i feared that spinach would be too salty.
-he's been eating sandwiches for the last few weeks (ie pieces of bread and cheese
Vacances Chez Grandma
Mr. Meh went for his first one-night sleep over at grandma's two weeks ago. It went well. I took him there in early afternoon. He crawled and explored everything. It was probably nicer than at home -- at least there was no dog hair and there is wall-to-wall carpeting. And my parents have a plethora of chachkis (don't know how to spell this) for Mr. Meh to get in trouble with.
The coffee table is made of glass. On it are porcelain candle sticks with candles in them and two big porcelain bowls. Under the table, there was a dozen or so little class teacandle holders. Next to the table on the floor are a few house plants. There are also some 100 CDs on the floor, nicely arranged. Mr. Me, of course, was fascinated with all of them. He kept taking the tea candle holders and trying to put one on top of the other. He likes to join and take things apart. Not a big deal. I know what he's trying to achieve cognitively. I can see him think. Except he's not really aware of his strength, nor is he aware that some things (like those made out of glass) should be handled gently with care.
Then he decided to play with candlesticks. He kept pulling the candles out and trying to put them back in the candlestick, which of course didn't work. Then he proceeded to put the candles in the glass bowl that was on the table. This game took a big portion of the afternoon.
I was getting upset with my dad because I was trying to move everything out of his reach, while he was telling that I need to keep a better watch on the baby. (At our house, however, he always comments that we need to move all sort of things, like the plants that spend the winter indoors, out of the baby's way).
Then I left, and Mr. Meh stayed for the night. It went well. He liked the crib they got for him. It's a big white crib, quite different from the one at home. He didn't mind sleeping there at all. Wasn't fussy at all. My mom put some toys for him in the crib, so he likes to look at them and talk to them (I'm always curious what he tells them)
So this experiment from two weeks ago went so well that on Sunday day, my parents picked up Mr. Meh and took him again to spend a few days with them. Basically, my dad was expecting some deliveries and it was easier for him to take care of Ivan at their house than here. Then they called this evening, if they can bring him back on Wednesday morning instead of tomorrow. We said fine. Ivan seems to have a good time there. He's been crawling everywhere. Playing with the phone (the transparent green landline phone) for over an hour.
He aparently also learned how to get off the bed today. When my parents put him on their big bed, he'd crawl to the edge, look over then turn around and go down feet first. I can't wait to see that.
On the home front, we miss him. It's been oddly quiet. Both of us got lots of sleep last night -- we both went to bed at nine. I should've done the same thing tonight, but instead I'm writing.
I also stayed at work late, as in my pre-Mr. Meh days. I got caught up on some work that's been lingering around. It was weird being the last one to leave. I definitely don't miss that.
The coffee table is made of glass. On it are porcelain candle sticks with candles in them and two big porcelain bowls. Under the table, there was a dozen or so little class teacandle holders. Next to the table on the floor are a few house plants. There are also some 100 CDs on the floor, nicely arranged. Mr. Me, of course, was fascinated with all of them. He kept taking the tea candle holders and trying to put one on top of the other. He likes to join and take things apart. Not a big deal. I know what he's trying to achieve cognitively. I can see him think. Except he's not really aware of his strength, nor is he aware that some things (like those made out of glass) should be handled gently with care.
Then he decided to play with candlesticks. He kept pulling the candles out and trying to put them back in the candlestick, which of course didn't work. Then he proceeded to put the candles in the glass bowl that was on the table. This game took a big portion of the afternoon.
I was getting upset with my dad because I was trying to move everything out of his reach, while he was telling that I need to keep a better watch on the baby. (At our house, however, he always comments that we need to move all sort of things, like the plants that spend the winter indoors, out of the baby's way).
Then I left, and Mr. Meh stayed for the night. It went well. He liked the crib they got for him. It's a big white crib, quite different from the one at home. He didn't mind sleeping there at all. Wasn't fussy at all. My mom put some toys for him in the crib, so he likes to look at them and talk to them (I'm always curious what he tells them)
So this experiment from two weeks ago went so well that on Sunday day, my parents picked up Mr. Meh and took him again to spend a few days with them. Basically, my dad was expecting some deliveries and it was easier for him to take care of Ivan at their house than here. Then they called this evening, if they can bring him back on Wednesday morning instead of tomorrow. We said fine. Ivan seems to have a good time there. He's been crawling everywhere. Playing with the phone (the transparent green landline phone) for over an hour.
He aparently also learned how to get off the bed today. When my parents put him on their big bed, he'd crawl to the edge, look over then turn around and go down feet first. I can't wait to see that.
On the home front, we miss him. It's been oddly quiet. Both of us got lots of sleep last night -- we both went to bed at nine. I should've done the same thing tonight, but instead I'm writing.
I also stayed at work late, as in my pre-Mr. Meh days. I got caught up on some work that's been lingering around. It was weird being the last one to leave. I definitely don't miss that.
Mr. Meh's health
Since the nebulizing treatment a week ago, Mr. Meh has been doing well. His nose was still snotty (but not as bad as it could've been) and he was still coughing and sneezing here and there, but otherwise he seems quite well.
On the hand, Andy got a second bout of cold over the weekend, as did my parents. So now, while Mr. Meh and I are healthy I fear that we'll get the second cold round as well.
Hope not.
On the hand, Andy got a second bout of cold over the weekend, as did my parents. So now, while Mr. Meh and I are healthy I fear that we'll get the second cold round as well.
Hope not.
Bras
Since nursing is a history by now, this would be a good time to go and buy some non-blah, non-beige, normal bras. I tried a few old bras I kept before getting pregnant, and although I fit into them (the extra fat on my back in a bit more noticable then I'd like it to be), I feel like need more support now -- both front and back.
The two-back claps are just not cutting it anymore. I think I'd prefer the support of 3 claps. (I feel like I'm beginning to sound soooo middle aged.).
And I'm tired of beige. Not that I was wild with color before, but there were options. There was lace. There was shades of blue. There was black.
And I have the $70 gift certificate to Victoria Secret that I got for my bachelorette party. Except I never used to shop there because I never thought their bras are comfortable and offer enough support. They seemed more for show than for support. And based on the media reports this week, it seems that I was not the only one thinking so about Victoria Secret.
Still, I have $70 to burn. I may as well figure out what they're offering.
The two-back claps are just not cutting it anymore. I think I'd prefer the support of 3 claps. (I feel like I'm beginning to sound soooo middle aged.).
And I'm tired of beige. Not that I was wild with color before, but there were options. There was lace. There was shades of blue. There was black.
And I have the $70 gift certificate to Victoria Secret that I got for my bachelorette party. Except I never used to shop there because I never thought their bras are comfortable and offer enough support. They seemed more for show than for support. And based on the media reports this week, it seems that I was not the only one thinking so about Victoria Secret.
Still, I have $70 to burn. I may as well figure out what they're offering.
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