Scared of Fireworks

It ended up being a good thing that we basically almost missed the fireworks. Our plan was to hit the GW parkway just in time for fireworks and then pull on the side of the road during the show, right across from the Washington Monument. But unlike last year, when fortuitously this plan worked out perfectly, this year, we left Beth's house too early. Although we drove at snail's speed, and at one point actually pulled over until a police siren told us to keep on moving, we still had too much time until the fireworks. So we decided that, never mind, we'll just drive away. But once on the actual parkway part of the GW parkway, and left DC behind us, we pulled over on one of the curves from which we could see the Washington Monument. Although we were far, we had a really good view of the show, with very muted noise.

Andy and Ivan positioned themselves in a lawn chair next to the car, while I remained in the car, with Allen who woke up and was crying. Once the fireworks started, Ivan freaked out and got scared. He rushed to the car, sat in his car seat and shut the door. He was really scared. He told us so. I don't know whether it was the noise or the actual lights, but it completely freaked him out.

Andy took Allen out of the car. We were afraid that not liking fireworks and sitting in the car in the dark with a crying baby would create a bad memory for him. So Allen sat with Andy in the lawn chair and and watch the fireworks. He was very alert and taken by the show, Andy said. I watched the fireworks from the passenger's seat in the car, with the door open. Ivan, who was sitting behind me wouldn't open the door, nor would he come to sit on my lap. Every once in a while, he turned around to see the fireworks, but he spent most of the show, sitting in his seat and waiting for all of it to end.

I don't know what freaked him out. The night before at Jared's graduation in York someone set off a few very low key fireworks relatively close to the house. We thought it was magical. Ivan was scared. So the fact that he freaked out during the 4th of July fireworks didn't come out as a huge surprise. In the end, it was better we didn't get to park along the GW parkway right across from the Washington Monument as he had hoped. Ivan would've been really scared--the fireworks would've been so much more immediate and loud--and we wouldn't been able to drive away. Watching them from afar was perfect.

I don't know why he was afraid. He watched them last year and seemed fine with it. This time, he specifically told us he was scared, but he wouldn't say why.

We drove home. Allen fell asleep but Ivan was awake the entire ride home. I assumed he'd fall asleep since it was after 9:30. Then, as we pulled into our driveway, the Takoma Park (or some other local) fireworks went off. We couldn't actually see them, but we saw flashes of light behind the Nolte Park tree line. Ivan quickly got out of the car, and jumped at me. "Mama, mama, hurry. Let's get in the house," he said as he hugged me so hard. His heart was beating furiously. I don't think he ever hugged me so hard. I've never felt him or seen him be so scared.

Lately, he seems to be developing fears. It's normal for three year-old, so I read. Maybe it's their wild imagination taking over, or they're sorting out the world more and more, and are beginning to be aware of things that don't make sense. Or maybe, as they're becoming more verbal, they're just better at expressing what they've been feeling all along.

Ivan has told us on several occasions now that he's scared. He's scared of the "lion" carving on Andy's antique chair on our bedroom (actually, it is a really scary carving that kind of freaks me out as well), he's afraid of people (I think he just means strangers), he's afraid of running in the water fountain in Silver Spring (actually, being a cautious child that he is, that doesn't surprise me) and he's afraid of the water mist at the zoo (I really can't explain that one, except that I know he doesn't like water in his eyes or on his face.) He's also my child, and I'm neurotic and anxious about so many things. That's why I'm trying hard not to pass my fears onto him. I can try to raise him fearless, although I'm not. But maybe it's more an issue of nurture rather than nature. Who knows.

By the time we got into the house, the fireworks were over, and Mariposa was wagging her tail eagerly waiting for us to open the door. I thought she'd be scared as well, as dogs are also scared of fireworks noise but not Posa. To the right of her, we noticed a huge mess. While we were out, she had gotten into the bunch of bananas I had bought earlier in the day, and eaten all (5-6 bananas ) but one. While Ivan was helping us scold Posa (although he's not supposed to do that), he forgot all about the fireworks.