Goodbye daycare

Today was Ivan's last day at daycare. He didn't want to go in this morning. I wasn't sure why--whether because he knew it would be the last day (this seems like something he would be sensitive and attune to), or because he spent yesterday home with Didi and Allen to recover from his fever (which I still have no clue where it came from).

He wanted to take a book along. It's big book about cars and trucks that he got for his birthday but has only recently--like yesterday--expressed interest in reading.(He actually sat on his bed yesterday voluntarily and by himself to peruse the book. I was impressed. A new behavior.) Andy called to say the drop off went well, although he didn't want to go and play with kids but sat with Ms. Rosa to read the book.

We arrived with cupcakes and juice boxes at 3:15 as planned. The kids were up and sitting around the table. Since Ivan's chair faces the door, he saw us through the window. A big grin flooded his face. Not many kids were in daycare--Sashi, Dylan, Zachary, Margaret, Morgane, Erika and Ivan.

Ms. Rosa said that Ivan was telling everyone the entire day that we were going to come and bring cupcakes. I guess they were expecting us.

Andy and I opened the cupcakes and juice to serve everyone. Ivan helped us. He gave a cupcake to Ms. Norma but said she has to wait to eat it until Ms. Rosa came back from the bathroom run with two kids. Later, he gave a cupcake to Ms. Elta.

Everyone had cupcakes. Then the kids ran around and danced. Everyone danced but Ivan, although both Ms. Norma and Rosa say that Ivan dances a lot....but apparently not in front of his parents or at home.

Ms. Azeb stopped by to say hi as did Ms. Claudette. We went to the infants' room to say bye to Ms. Aletha.
I wrote thank you cards to give to Ms. Rosa, Ms. Norma and Ms. Elta who were his “butterfly” room teachers. Ms. Rosa really appreciated the card.
Although I was very emotional--as were all the teachers, who kept telling us that he's such a sweet boy and that they'll miss him immensely--tears didn't come. I spent the last few days fearing that I'd break down and start crying. I guess all the emotional prepping of the last few weeks paid off. I'm more at peace than I thought I'd be.

I took plenty of pictures of the classroom and the kids. Everyone was cooperative except Ivan who refused to be in the group picture. I think we somehow managed to include him, even though he was kicking and screaming.

Then we packed up his stuff, Ms. Rosa gave us a few remaining pieces of artwork, and that was it. We left. We left daycare for good.

Later at home, I told Ivan again that tomorrow he goes to the big boy school. He nodded and acknowledged it. He said he wanted to go. I asked him whether he wanted Medic to come along like on Monday. He said no. He wanted Medic to stay home with Didi and Allen. But when I tucked him to bed tonight, he asked for Medic, although lately he hasn't been falling asleep with him.

I still wonder whether he understands the finality of daycare and whether he cares. He must have. I'm inferring this from his need for Medic. I found it interesting that the other day (or was it this morning?) when I asked about daycare he mentioned Emma and Creighton, who are two four year-olds who recently, over the last few weeks, also left daycare to start a preschool. He's talked about Emma and Creighton in the past a lot as well because he's been at daycare with them all this time, so their mention might not have meant anything. Or maybe it meant something. I found it interesting. I told him that Creighton is no longer at daycare but is now going to another big boy school. I don't know if Ivan registered that.

On a personal note what really hurts--although this is really stupid, petty and so not relevant to a three year-old, and really says more about me than anything else--is the fact that Emma and Creigthon are going to the same preschool and are in the same class. I think they were good friends at daycare, mainly because they, along with Isabella C. and Sashi, were the oldest kids who've been at the daycare since they were all infants. And now at this new preschool, they will have each other. I also believe their parents are friends (or have gotten friendly through daycare) and that they do playdates outside daycare. All this will ensure nice continuity for them. Ivan doesn't have that. No continuity, no best friend, no nothing....for him. He starts from scratch.

Good bye daycare. We will miss you. At least I will.