Pre-school dilemma

By tomorrow, we need to make a big decision about Ivan’s pre-school.

One of the only prescient things I had done shortly after he was born was to put him on the waiting list for Maryland’s pre-school. This was done long before we thought of any practical daycare issues and long before I looked for daycare and enrolled him in one.

He got into Maryland’s pre-school, and we need to let them know by tomorrow whether he’ll be attending in the fall or not. And now we’re having second thoughts of what to do—whether to enroll him in this pre-school for the next two years or keep him in the daycare, which will function as pre-school as well. The situation is no longer as simple and clear cut as it was when I sent in my deposit to waitlist him two years ago. Maryland’s facility is beautiful—well staffed, well equipped, etc…

They’ve got money and they’ve got their act in order. (They’ve also been around much longer than our current daycare which is three years old.) It’s also top of the line--it’s affiliated with the school of education and it’s NYAC-accredited—and no doubt that the level of instruction Ivan would receive would be superior than at our current daycare. But it’s also much bigger. There are four classrooms composed of 18 kids, with two teachers and an aide.

Our daycare is much smaller (maybe 30 kids total), more shabby, and probably more disorganized, and less structured and formal. But all the women working there are nice and nurturing. They all seem to love Ivan. It’s like a small family.
When I went to daycare today, I realized that they have the same types of stations set up around the room as Maryland does: science, dramatic play, art, etc. but it’s not as well delineated and glitzy.

The problem is that the four-five year-old classroom doesn’t exist yet because the oldest children, Isabella, Emma and Creighton, are about to turn four this summer. So the three and four year olds are grouped together. There is a plan to establish a fourfive year-old classroom, but it would be in the basement, an idea that I don’t like. I’m not really fond of basements, especially in old buildings. Also, I don’t know who the teacher would be. (I forgot to ask Ms. Claudette.)
In the meantime, according to Ms. Claudette, Ms. Rosa, the current three-four year-old classroom teacher, works on different things with older kids than with younger kids to make sure all get ready for school.

Another issue is finances and logistics. Maryland’s daycare actually ends up being cheaper when calculated for the 46 weeks that it’s open, including summer camp, than our daycare. But Maryland works on the school schedule, so they’re closed for Christmas/New Year, spring break, and 6 weeks during the summer. All this time off could be a problem (although we’ll eventually have to tackle that issue once Ivan starts elementary school). Our daycare is open year round, save for a week in July.

So I don’t know what to do. Initially, I was for enrolling him at Maryland while Andy was for leaving him at our daycare. Then, after we visited Maryland, we were both on the fence, and now I’m more inclined to leave him at the daycare while Andy is for Maryland.

Then a related issue is Allen. He will start daycare next September, if not sooner, depending on how long my parents can take care of him. That means that Ivan and Allen would overlap for one year at the same facility. It may be nice for both to have each other at the same place, even if they’re in different classrooms.

To sum up, I guess the crux of the question is, what’s more important at this early age: good instruction/education or an intimate, nurturing environment where the child learns to socialize with others? I don’t know.

I hate to give up on the Maryland opportunity since I had been focused on it since Ivan was born. On the other hand, I also feel like we’d be disloyal to our daycare if we pull him out.

But more importantly, this is about Ivan and creating a good schooling foundation. I don’t know how disruptive it would be to pluck him out of one place to enroll him into the other, which will be much larger. Since he’s so introverted and is much more at ease in small groups or just one-on-one with other kids, I fear that he will have a hard time adjusting among so many new kids.

So what’s more important for a three year-olds development: to be comfortable and confident as he starts his schooling odyssey or be thrown into a situation that I know he’d prefer to shy away from and just learn to sink or swim?