Attempting to be a Non-Overprotective Mom

Inspired by the stay-at-home British dad whom I occasionally see on the playground (whenever I'm on vacation) who comes with two kids, a two-plus year old boy and an infant girl, and who, to my utter horror, let's the girl basically roam around unattended in a onesie without close supervision that I give Ivan, I decided not to hold Ivan on the chain bridge today.

What happened? While in the past I was always horrified at the freedom he gives the girl and I'm really surprised that she hasn't hurt herself yet. Or maybe she has, I would have no way of knowing. (Also, not to mention the fact that he brings her in a dirty, full-breakfast on the chest, onesie, and that the girl is also full of mosquito bites. I guess that's the difference between mom-care and dad-care: Atttention to detail, cleanliness and appropriate-ness.) today, we struck up a conversation while pushing the babies on the swings.

I learned the girl is 13 months-old. I commented that "wow, she seems so advanced for that age, at least compared to Ivan." (The girl is practically Ivan's size and is a only a bit more wobbly on her feet, but then again, is more comfortable and daring in mastering various terrains that Ivan is still not so sure about. The fact that's she's Ivan's size doesn't bug me, well not a lot, because both parents are very tall, unlike us. But then again, even really short people, like Sanjoy and Rita, seem to give birth to babies that could eat Ivan for lunch.)

Back to the story: the father responded, that it's probably because she's trying to immitate her brother, but also probably because, as his wife noted, that he lets her do a lot of things that a mom probably wouldn't.

This comment inspired me. When Ivan was done with the swing and I took him out,he headed to the chain bridge.

He's been on that bridge for the last few weeks and has mastered it, getting more comfortable on it. Actually over the weekend, he and I actually stood on the bridge -- I wasn't holding him -- while I was making the bridge sway side to side.

So today, as he was trying to step onto the bridge and was looking at something on a side, I stood right behind him, but didn't grab his hand. Of course, he did something, lost his balance and fell of the bridge into the dirt-tall grass-crap on the side. It happened to fast for me to catch him.

A split second later, the way he was lying in the grass, face down, head in a weird position and arms oddly placed by his sides, I really thought he had broken something -- like his neck or at least an arm.

He cried a bit, while I picked him up. Once he was in my arms I realized he seemed all OK, unhurt, unbruised and all. He cried for a minute or two, then calmed down and was off again running to something else. The whole incident forgotten.

For me, however, it was a slight lesson. I'm not a cool, easy going, unprotective mom, and when I try to act so, bad things happened. I should just stick to my tried self: the very cautious mom.

:-)