The Milk's Gone

Today, Mr. Meh finished the frozen milk supply. There is nothing left in the freezer. All that's left is the measly 3 oz skinny Medela bottle that I diligenly still pump at work each day.

For some reason, this realization -- that the frozen milk supply -- has been finnished off, makes me sad. I'm not sure why. Maybe because he's growing up. And maybe because I don't see him enough and barely spend any time with him during the week. A lousy one hour, between 6 am and 7 am each morning, when I'm still half asleep. He's in bed by the time I get home from work.

I know I should focus on the positive. He's 9 months and 2 weeks old. I should be proud that I've made it so far (until this week) without any formula. He was exlusively breastfed for 9 months, while I was working. I need to remember that it's a big thing that I've made it so far.

But having to introduce formula now is hard. He's tried it over the weekend, while we were away. (Our first time away from him.) He liked it. Chugged it down without missing a bit. (Earlier last week, we tried giving him the formula in a sippy cup. He didn't like it. We weren't sure whether it was the sippy cup or the formula. Turns out it was the sippy cup. I have to admit it's much larger and cumbersome looking that the Medela bottles he's gotten used to)

I guess it makes me sad -- my little baby growing more independent and needing me less. I'm figuring out these thoughts as I'm writing them. They are surprising me. Who knew I had such a sentimental baby bone in my head.

I guess breastfeeding will eventually have to stop. I guess this week is the beginning of the weaning period. My goal has been to breastfeed him for a year -- if things worked out. (I focused on reaching a three month breastfeeding milestone -- 3, 6, 9 and 12 months.) I'm almost there. Three more months.

I'll continue breastfeeding him at night and in the morning (He's so cute when he nurses. It must be very comforting and yummy for him).

The question is do I continue pumping at work -- to produce this miserly 3 oz bottle. Is it worth it? On one hand, pumping can be quite a nuissance some days, and my nipples have had it. On the other hand, I've made it so far, shouldn't I try to reach a 1 year mark. Does it matter?

I need to give it up at some point, but what is that point?