Friday, April 30, 2010

Brothers Laughing

Ivan and Allen increasinly play with each other. Allen loves to observe Ivan to see what he's doing, how he's moving around. And then he smiles and laughs at him, these deep genuine belly laughs.

Ivan on the other hand, "loves his baby." He always wants to touch him, hold him, etc. He's been like that ever since allens birth . It's endearing.

Now when I put Allen on his jungle gym map or just lay him on the floor, Ivan goes to lay with him and play. Being three years-old, this play is sometimes rougher than it should be, but it's play. Ivan also likes to takes his red chair and sit in it or on the floor next to Allen when
he's in his bouncy chair.

They seem to be developing genuine affection for one another. And they laugh. Allen laughs at Ivan, then Ivan laughs back at Allen. Watching them, makes me laugh.

Or , as Andy remarked yesterday, "it's like watching Beavis and Butthead laugh at each other."

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Friends

Socialization of a three year-old continues: Ivan has become aware of the concept of a "friend."

"He's my friend ... He's not my friend."
"'Elubody' is my friend."
"Allen's my friend."
"Are you my friend, mama?"

I know that the friend concept is something they talk about in daycare. I'm not sure he understand what that means. Maybe.

I've been asking him with whom does he play at daycare, but he goes mum. He doesn't respond. I don't know why. I guess he doesn't get the question (although "who did you play with" is pretty straight forward") or he plays alone, which I doubt.

And "the little white car had no friends so he had to go home to play with mama," he told me the other day about one of his cars.





Sent from my iPhone

Friday, April 23, 2010

Dancing shirts

"Look dadda, look," Ivan gleefully pointed to the white Hanes undershirts both he and Andy we wearing one morning last week.

"Oohh, matching shirts," Andy replied.

"Yes, dancing sirts, dancing sirts," Ivan replied, misunderstanding the word.

And then they started dancing in their matching dancing shirts.

White Hanes undershirts are our unisex sleep and lounge about outfits that both Andy and I wear to bed and around the house.

And ever since he outgrew his onesies last year, I've been dressing Ivan in those shirts to provide an extra layer of clothing in winter, or as an undershirt for his winter flannel pajama.

Sent from my iPhone

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Allen: My Feet

For the last few weeks, Allen's been solely focused on trying to reach his feet, and, if at all possible, stick them in his mouth.

Well, he's finally achieved the first goal: he can grab his feet with his hands.



He's four months old today. Time flies. Right in front of my eyes, but unnoticed, that little newborn has morphed into an adorable, chubby baby, with perfect little chubby cheeks. I just want to gnaw on him. So I cuddle him as much as I can.

I was listening to him sleep last night. A very quiet sleep. The "snoring" he was born with is mostly gone. I'm glad I managed to record it.

Scaring 'Dorms' and other concerns

"Mama, I need to take dorms of hands and then we eat 'cocholate'," Ivan informed me the other day waving his hands while sitting on the potty in the middle of the living room floor.

Dorms, dorms, dorms, I quickly scanned my mental library of Ivan talk, in a rushing effort to understand what he was referring to, before he got irritated that I didn't understand him.

"Dorms, mama, dorms, look," he repeated.

"Ah, germs, I see, you have germs on your hands," I replied relieved, realizing that he learned that word from the Potty Power video (which did wonders for helping to potty train him, and which he now wants to watch as much as Mickey, and which Didi and Baka had to go and retrieve from the library after they returned it, or experience a major melt down). (Or maybe it was the chocolate reward system that did the trick, who knows.)

"I need to wash my hands, and dorms go ocean," he explained.

"Look, at all those germs!"

"Mama, stop vikat [screaming], you'll scare them!"

It's been slightly over two weeks that Ivan's been potty trained. It seems so far away. I really thought it would never happen, and miraculously it did, practically overnight. Just like everyone said, when the child is ready, something just clicks.

Since then, he hasn't had any accidents, apart from the first week in daycare, when he refused to potty there. Last week and this week, he's gone potty in daycare without a problem.

He tells us when he needs to go, or more often, he runs to the bathroom by himself to go potty. In the morning, when he gets up and comes running to our bed to cuddle, he gets up and without saying anything goes to the bathroom. I hear him clanking, so I follow. But he puts his toilet seat insert on the bowl, takes off his pants and pees.

He actually now prefers the topilet seat insert to the potty. Andy showed him to go pee standing up, so he's started climbing onto the toilet seat to stand and aim the pee in the toilet bowl. It's a slightly dangerous and messy endeavor, but I help him along. While aiming for the bowl, he sprays the pee everyone, before being able to direct the pee properly. And that's why we have cleaning ladies: to clean the bathrooms so I'm not worrying about that. I'm afraid that while climbing onto the bowl with his pants around his ankles that he'll slip and hurt himself, possible even fall into the toilet. And that would suck, especially since of his concerns now has been about being flushed into the toilet (and going to the ocean).

The question now is what do we do when we're out or in a place with no bathrooms: I'm for him wearing underwear, and if he has an accident, oh well. We clean him up and change clothes. If we're in a place with no toilets--on a playground or in a park, like at the arboretum last weekend--do what we do with Mariposa: have him pee/poop behind a tree or near a trash can, then scoop it up and throw it out. He's too little to ask him to hold it in until we get to a toilet. Andy thinks this strategy is gross and not-American. He's appalled. He suggests Ivan wears pull ups in such occasions. But I'm against it. I think that it will just confuse him and, actually, infantilize him. He's so proud of himself for learning to use the potty and for being a big boy.

He's even stopped wetting himself while sleeping. For two weeks now, I've stopped putting pull ups on him during the afternoon nap. He hasn't had any accidents. Even when he wakes up in the morning, his pull ups is dry. I can't believe it. I've been thinking how it's possible to train someone not to pee in his sleep, considering that the person is asleep. But, apparently, whatever brain mechanism clicks on to use the potty during the day, seems to work during the night as well.

Now, the next hurdle is teaching him to wipe himself. Actually, it's more letting him practice than teaching him. He's seen what he needs to do. But just like learning to use utensils to eat, or get dressed and undressed, mastering that hand movement takes time. A lot of messy time.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Hanging out at home

Today was Friday so I was home with both Allen and Ivan. We had a wonderful day. Ever since the weather got nice and spring arrived, it's been so much easier to take care of both of them. It's been such a joy (except when they both cry and Ivan whines). We hang out on the porch. There is no need to take them to the playground or go out for a stroll. The porch and the yard do the trick. I hold and play with Allen, Mariposa scans the street below barking at every thing that requires the obligatory bark, and Ivan plays. He loves the porch and loves being in the yard.

He spent the entire morning either digging around the yard with his shovels, and performing some very elaborate engineering/artistic/chemistry experiments involving playdooh, playdooh pasta machine, sticks and brushes, water, paint. He was preoccupied the entire day.

The other week, he spent the entire day in the yard pouring water in and out of empty flower pots, and then threw fresbee around.

On Mondays and Fridays I've been home alone with both Ivan and Allen, while the other three days of the week Ivan goes to daycare so it's just Allen and myself.

Day dynamics are completely different when Ivan's at home. I tend to devote more time to him as he needs to involvment and interaction at the expense of holding Allen and "ahhing" at him. Although now as Allen's getting more "awake," he's demanding more interaction and entertainment. I hope I'm not inadvertently inflicting some sort of psychological pain. From what I hear, every mom with a toddler and an infant feels like that: guilty at not being able to devote full attention to either when taking care of both.

When Ivan's at home, I also need to pay more attention to Mariposa to make sure the interaction between the two of them doesn't turn sour. Mariposa comes to him to play and check out what he's doing and inadvertently gets in his way, so Ivan sometimes provokes her, or plays with things that scare her, or tries to scold her, etc... in any case I need to monitor their interaction. On those days, Allen tends to spend more time in his carseat, swing or bouncy chair--none of which he's crazy about--than I'd like him to.

But on Tuesdays, the first day that Ivan returns to daycare, I feel like I'm on vacation. It's just Allen and myself and we get to sleep in and lounge....

I need go a work

As Ivan's becoming more verbal, is starting to reason and engage in imaginative and mimick play, he's been enacting some really funny scenarios (apart from the ongoing bunny rabbits saga). Here's a play scenario from last week:





"I need go a work," Ivan said as he dragged the cars suitcase upstairs to the crib room. He entered the room, then realized he needed to go and get "my two wallets," turned around and clancked the suitcase down the stairs. When he couldn't find the wallets after a cursory peruse, he lost interest but first said to himself that he needs to go to work soon, and went onto the porch to inspect the chairs and tables he had previously rearranged.




At least, unlike the last time when he went to work in his crib (which I'm trying to depersonalize for him before we move Allen into it), he didn't climb into the crib and spat on the stuffed elephant who's been residing in the crib for the time being.


Allen's doctor's appointment

Allen went for his three-month check up two days ago. (We've gotten a bit off schedule with these check ups considering he turned three months a few weeks ago.)

He measured at 24.5 inches long, and13 lbs 7.4 oz heavy, which puts him slighlty below the 50th percentile. So in other words, he's bigger than Ivan was at this age, who measured between 10-25th percentile.

Two more weeks of stay-at-home baby bliss

I have two more weeks of maternity leave before I have to return to work. And I'm dreading it. I'm dreading it more this time than I did with Ivan. I look at Ivan and see how fast and fleeting the last three years have been. Allen, being the second child with an older brother to look up to, will grow up even faster.
Their babyhoods are such short, almost elusive, periods and I fear that I will have spent them at work.
Since I know that Allen is the last one, there is an ominous sense of finality. This is it. If I don't pay attention know and aren't fully in the moment, these moments will pass for ever.
And that's when I start to think about maybe going for a third child. This has been at the back of my mind ever since I first held Allen in my arms. I was so painfully aware that his newborn-ness will evaporate quickly and unnoticable and had already started having thoughts of another baby. I thought they would go away by now, but they've been lingering on. Whether it's because I want a girl, a big family or something else, I'm not sure. Except that we're not set up for a third one nor had ever considered it until these thoughful now.
So I'm really grappling with the fact that I need to return to work soon . I do feel lucky that I have been able to take 20 weeks of from work and that I'm returning to a mom-friendly environment and a job I like. But I don't want to go back. I wish I could only work three days a week.
It's funny because I never really saw myself, and still don't see myself, as a stay at home mom, but I have been really enjoying this time with the kids,even though on most days it's rather challenging. I have also acquired/dropped some habits that myself from ten years ago would be appaled at: like not keeping up with the news, not caring to keep up with current events and not reading the paper.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Ivan Turns Midwestern

Last Thursday, when Ivan came home from daycare, his vowels suddenly became very drawn out and flat--snaack, maat, Saaam, etc.... Out of nowhere, he's developed an accent, a mid-western accent to be precise. Then on certain words which yield themselves to that specific New Jersey pronunciation, he's embraced that accent as well. Other words come out in Southern twang.

He's been toggling back and forth between normal accent-less speech and these myriad of accents ever since.

We have noticed that as part of his speech acquisition, he often repeats the our words and sentences to assimilate what he's heard.

But we're rather perplexed where did the accent come from. He must have picked it up at daycare. But from whom? Other kids? Or teachers? Most daycare ladies are non-native English speakers--either Hispanic, Ethiopian, etc--and for some of them it's more likely that they speak little or no English rather than have an accent.

All this makes the accent even more mysterious and funny.

Potty Training Done!

It looks like I've managed to potty-train Ivan over the weekend. He wasn't getting it Friday and Saturday, and kept peeing and pooping in his pants. But on Sunday, something clicked and voila!

He did great both Sunday and Monday at home. On Sunday, Easter, he and my dad watched this "Potty Power" video, a cute video which tells kids how to use the potty through songs and skits. Not for babies but for big kids! He liked the video and asked me to watch it again on Monday. I think he liked the big kid message. (So funny that "right messaging," a pr concept, is relevant to this issue).

On Monday, Ivan actually went to the potty twice by himself--once for a poop, the other time for a pee--while I was upstairs changing Allen. He didn't make it to the potty in time either time, but went half in his pants and half on the potty. The problem was that he's not that dexterous in taking off his pants. (Again, so funny, that such a basic human skill--taking clothes off, is something that toddlers need to practice to master, that it's not as innate as we think it is.)

He wore underwear to daycare yesterday and today, although he's refused to go potty there. Yesterday, he apparently held it in all day long (except for the nap time when he was in pull ups) so, on the way home, he peed in the car (at least the car seat fabric got washed). Today he had an accident at daycare.

But still... It looks like a success. It only took 11 months and one four-day long weekend!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Potty Training Continued

We're still working on potty training.

This week there were two breakthroughs after weeks of status quo. First, some three weeks ago, when Lisa and Sam came over, Sam had to potty and did it in the toilet, so I used the opportunity to show Ivan how Sam's a big boy who wears underwear and uses the potty.



That afternoon, after we changed pull ups, I asked Ivan whether we should put underwear on. I got an enthusiastic "yeah!" from him. I was excited. The next two times he had to pee pee, he told me and we made it to the potty in time. But for the subsequent few pees and a poop, he just did it in his pants, and didn't really anything.



Since that incident, I've been getting increasingly anxious about potty training him. It seems that he's the only kid left who hasn't been potty trained. The only other two kids I know of are Margaret in his daycare (but she's a bit younger and also a bit shy and awkward so it doesn't surprise me) and Robbie (who I'd think ought to be trained by now considering that Meg's a stay at home mom, which I associate with being able to fully focus on potty training. But Robbie must be like Ivan, totally not interested in it. I recall they tried to potty train him last summer when he'd pee his pants while at the playground and totally ignore it, just like Ivan. So it's really more a function of a kid than the mom.)



I've made it my goal to train him by the end of this month while I'm still on maternity leave. While I'm at home I have a four-day weekend stretch to train him when he's not in daycare, while when I return to work I'd only have the two weekend days to focus on it. And I really don't want to send him off to daycare without him being relatively solidly capable of telling the teachers that he needs to use the potty. I don't want to put him in a situation where he'll pee his pants in class, especially now when everyone else is potty trained. I think that would've been more acceptable in the two year-old classroom but not now.



So the two breakthroughs:

On Monday, after peeing his pants for the most of the day, while we were eating dinner, Ivan got up and ran to the potty, saying "brzo, brzo, brzo" (or some pronunciation of that word). I quickly handed off Allen to Andy, who was confused about the commotion, ran after Ivan to help him take off his pants and, voila, he peed in the potty.



I think what made a difference was the fact that we put to potty in the living room (in other words have the potty in the same room as he's in rather than in the bathroom) and talk it up as something he needs to do by himself. It's actually really odd that Ivan ,who wants to do absolutely everything "myself" and is rather self-sufficient, is so not interested in being potty trained. I must give credit to my dad for both of these suggestions, and I absolutely hate to admit it when he's right (and especially, since I'm constantly fighting with him over giving and not giving Ivan chocolate, etc.)

Then nothing happened during the week. He wore pull ups to daycare even though we told him that if he tells the teachers that he needs to potty that they will take him. But a note came home from Ms. Rosa saying that he didn't ask to potty even though they take him to the bathroom when all the kids go....

Yesterday, Friday, we spent the entire day practicing, but he peed and pooped his pants every time. However, unlike previous training attempts when he'd be oblivious to the fact that he peed or pooped (or at least would purposefully ignore it), this time he would tell me that he'd peed as soon as it would happen. "Mama, I peed. Mama, I pooped." So that was a minor achievement.

And then today, after some unsuccessful attempts, he said "Mama, I'm pooping." I scooped him up, positioned him on the potty, and voila, we squeezed two nuggets into the potty.

We were so excited. He was so proud of himself. We called all grandparents to let them know and make him even more proud!

It just so happened that my parents were on the way over anyway, so when we called to tell them about the poop, my dad promised to bring chocolate over as a reward.

However, two subsequent pees were done in the pants but still!

I also realized that Ivan knows the past and present tense--I pooped. vs. I'm pooping. So that's exciting.

So I have high potty training hopes for tomorrow and Monday.

Midnight ramblings of a working mom of two kids.