Breastfeeding militia

Before I gave birth, I was really open minded and nonchalant about breastfeeding or not. I had decided I was going to give it a try and see what happened. It if worked, I would breastfeedl; if it didn't, I'd formulafeed.

Turned out, breastfeeding was easy for me and I have been exclusively breastfeeding the baby for the last 4 and a half months. I also found it very easy. If I had to bottlefeed during those first few newborn weeks, I think I would've lost it. Breastfeeding was seemed so much easier, simpler and faster. Just whip out a boob and the food was ready.

Now, a friend of ours had a baby a couple of weeks ago. She had decided from the get-go that she wasn't going to breastfeed, but give the baby formula.

It's none of my business and it wasn't my decision and I have no right to judge, obviously, but ever since that baby was born (we went to see them at the hospital), I find myself getting really annoyed and angry when I reflect on my friend's decision not to breastfeed.

She didn't even try. Had she tried and decided that it was too hard, painful, inconvenient, etc....I would've understood and respected her decision. But the fact that she didn't even try, really bugged me.

It's one simple gift of health (the immunity and all) you can give to your baby, not to mention that, at least I found it to be, a time and sanity saver during those first few weeks.

I feel that if you can't even try to give that to your child, what else will you not "sacrifice" in the future and not provide for your child.

Utter Bliss

Everyone who knows me knows that I was the 'most anti-mom, least motherly, didn't really care about babies and kids" woman around. The one who asked completely baffled and uninterested "what do you do with a baby all day long."

And everyone said to me, "once you have your own kid, you'll see, it will change."

And were they right. It's true. I fell in love with my baby as soon as he was born --- butteflies in my stomach and all. When he opened his eyes and started looking at me and smiling, the butteflies only intensified.

And now, at four months old, when I do silly things to make him laugh, he laughs back -- making little laughing noises -- which makes me laugh even harder, which just cracks him up even more.

At these laughing moments, I experience what can only be described as utter bliss and a complete state of happiness. It's like nothing I've experienced before.

I had no clue that it's possible to feel like that and that a baby can make you feel like that.

Had I known that, I would've had one sooner.

At the pediatrician's

When we arrived at the doctor's office today there was a young mom with her infant in the car seat waiting. After a few minutes one of the receptionists remarked that he was going to call the cab company again.

It turned out she had been waiting for about 30 minutes for a cab to come and pick her up. The receptionist said the cab would be another 10 min.

We went in, had our appointment, chatted with the doctor, waited for the nurse to give the baby some shots, and came back out again. We must have been gone for at least 20 minutes.

The young mom was still there. Waiting for a cab.

And this was in a more suburban than urban area, during rush out traffic.

I obviously don't know what her story was. I assumed that she was poor and had no car.

Poverty, i.e. the lack of car ownership, translates into one big waste of time -- waiting and relying on public transportation to get around.

(But who knows, maybe there was another reason why the woman was waiting for a cab)

Pregnancy markers fading

Now, 4 months after giving birth, I'm slowly sheding last vestiges of pregnancy.

-I've finally stopped peeing my pants when I sneeze.

-Last week my hair started falling out again. It was nice to have had long luscious hair, if only for 9 months of my life (or until the next pregnancy).

-My linea negra is almost completely faded

The only things that remain are:

- Still no period (yeay)

- Enlarged belly button -- will it ever shrink

- 15 lbs of pregnancy weight (+10 lbs of prepregancy I-got fat weight)

So I ask myself, when does the "I just had a baby" weight excuse become an "I'm just fat" fact.

When does the time frame "I just had a baby" become a distant past and one just starts looking silly blaming her fat(ter) self on the baby instead of chocolate and cookies.

On Becoming Mom

After 9+ pregnancy and 4 post-partum months, I finally succumbed and decided to start this blog.

To record my life as mom, which I think is funny since I still can't fathom myself as mom (although I am) nor have I ever in my life dreamt about becoming a mom.

And for the record I wanted to title this blog My Life as Mom, but alas that title was already taken (by someone who doesn't seem to be blogging at all, I must remark).